Ah, the honeymoon phase! It’s kind of like when you discover a new ice cream flavor and can’t get enough of it. But then, one day, you remember other flavors are a thing. Does that mean this new flavor isn’t as delish? Nope. Just means you remembered variety, baby!
In the Jewish tradition, the Song of Solomon captures the essence of romantic love, and boy, it’s passionate! “Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is as strong as death.” Okay, we get it, it’s intense. But isn’t that how we feel in the beginning? Just absolutely consumed? And can we talk about how amazing that is?
Remember that One Sappy Song?
Every culture, every age, has its own version of ballads about yearning. That deep-seated desire to just be with the one you adore. The ancient Greeks had a word for it: “Eros.” No, not the cute cupid. Eros was the deep, passionate desire. But guess what? That’s just one kind of love. There’s also “Philautia” – self-love. And isn’t it just as important to keep that tune playing?
Now, just because you find yourself humming a tune about your loved one 24/7, doesn’t mean you’re off the spiritual track. Didn’t Jesus teach us about love being the highest command?
But then again, didn’t the Buddha teach about the Middle Path? The balance? A little of this, a little of that. All in harmony. Like a well-composed symphony or, you know, a thoughtfully curated Spotify playlist.
The Science of Love: Why We Want to Be Close
Remember that feeling when you first laid eyes on that cute guy in the church’s youth group? No, not the one playing the guitar, the other one!
Yup, your heart racing, the world turning into a Disney movie, and… hold on, why on Earth are we feeling this way? Is it because of that “special” prayer you whispered last Sunday? Well, there might be a smidge more science to it.
A Little Chemistry Lesson, Minus the Boring Bits
While we may love attributing our fluttery feelings to the Big Man Upstairs – and don’t get me wrong, He plays a big part – there’s also a sneaky little hormone called oxytocin at play. Historically known as the “love hormone”, it’s what turns us into human-sized clingy koalas.
Oxytocin is released during close, comforting contact. Remember Jacob and Rachel’s romantic saga? You think it was just fate that made him work an extra seven years to marry the woman of his dreams? Oxytocin, my friend. Binding two hearts, and in their case, for a very, very long time.
More Than Just A Heart Thing
Alright, let’s have a little chat about our noggin, the brain. When you’re falling head over heels (hopefully not in a literal sense because that might require a doctor), there are fireworks. Not the 4th of July kind, but a cascade of chemical reactions in your brain. Think of it as Heaven’s way of letting you know, “Hey, there’s potential here!”.
Now, from the Bhagavad Gita, there’s a line that goes, “We’re all a little different, but love binds us together.” Different religions, different beliefs, but we can all agree that love is universal.
Even Buddha chipped in with, “In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.” So, yes, love and those chemical reactions? They’re as age-old as Adam and Eve (just minus the apple incident).
And here’s the kicker: It’s not just about the boy you’re swooning over. It’s about connecting deeply with other humans, understanding them, and being understood. It’s about the bonds we forge, the friendships we maintain, and the families we love.
While science can give us a peek into the whys and hows of love, it’s our faith and values that guide us in using this understanding for the greater good. Because, let’s face it, we could all use a little more love and a lot less drama.
And if that means blaming oxytocin for our latest crush, so be it. It’s all part of the grand plan, right?
Read: Opposites Don’t Attract
The Pros of Spending Ample Time Together
When Emotional Intimacy Gets Real
Remember Ruth and Boaz? Sure, they didn’t have date nights at Chick-fil-A, but they had something we all crave – deep emotional intimacy. By sharing experiences like late-night field gleanings and secret rooftop chats, they created a bond.
The Bible might not spill all the beans, but we can bet they had their share of laughter, tears, and “You too? I thought I was the only one!” moments.
But hey, what’s the point if you aren’t growing together? Trust, like that plant you keep forgetting to water, needs nurturing.
Building mutual understanding is like building Noah’s Ark – it takes time, patience, and the occasional “Why did I bring two mosquitoes again?” moments. From Proverbs, we learn that “Above all else, guard your heart,” but we also need to open it up sometimes, right?
The Discovery Channel of Love
Paul wrote letters; we have Instagram stories. Different times, same principle. By spending time together, you don’t just discover if he likes pineapple on pizza (a potential deal-breaker, by the way). You pick up on the little things – the way he prays before a meal or how he secretly enjoys cheesy Christian rock.
Rumi, a wise old poet from a land far away, once said, “The beauty you see in me is a reflection of you.” Swap out “Rumi” for “Jeremiah” or “Ezekiel,” and you might mistake it for a verse from Psalms. The point? By observing each other’s quirks, we get a mirror reflecting both the good and the “needs a little Jesus” parts of us.
Building More than Just a Two-Player Team
Imagine if Esther decided, “Eh, I’m not feeling this whole ‘saving my people’ thing today.” Nope, she and Mordecai were a team, plotting strategies over ancient cups of, well, whatever they drank back then. A strong relationship is kinda like that, minus the royal drama.
Having shared goals and dreams isn’t just about planning which church to attend or how many kids to have. It’s about aligning your compasses to point to the same True North.
The Dalai Lama, a peace-loving monk with a contagious smile, said, “Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.” Swap him out for Solomon, and this sounds like Proverbs 101, right?
And when the storms come (because, spoiler alert, they will), you’ll need more than just lovey-dovey feelings. You’ll need teamwork. Deciding who’s going to confront the annoying neighbor about their blaring 3 a.m. worship music?
Or figuring out how to stick to a budget that includes tithing and monthly date nights? That’s the real MVP-level teamwork right there.
The Fine Line: When Enough Becomes Too Much
Missing: One Individuality, Last Seen Pre-Relationship
You remember Jonah, right? Guy gets swallowed by a whale because he thought he could take a “personal growth vacation” from God’s calling. We might not have massive sea creatures coming after us, but the perils of neglecting our personal growth in a relationship are real.
While we’re all searching for that “two become one” scenario, no one said anything about becoming a blurry, unrecognizable blend of two personalities.
Ever heard of the Buddhist saying, “Just as a candle cannot burn without fire, men cannot live without a spiritual life”? It’s like they took a page out of our own book!
In our quest for coupledom, we shouldn’t misplace our individual spiritual fire. Becoming overly intertwined can lead to co-dependence faster than you can say, “I think I left my individuality in my other pants.”
Breathing Room Wanted: Apply Within Relationship
Remember when Moses wandered the desert for 40 years? Sometimes, relationships can feel a bit like that desert if there’s no personal space. And no, I’m not suggesting you need a 40-year break (talk about taking things slow). But a little breathing room wouldn’t hurt, right?
While spending every waking moment together might sound like a dream, it can also be a one-way ticket to Suffocation Station.
There’s a reason why the Bible advises, “Where there is no counsel, the people fall.” And while it’s not exactly referring to love advice, the point stands: constant proximity without breaks might lead to unwanted relationship falls.
Family & Friends: Not Just Holiday Decorations
The first miracle Jesus performed? At a wedding. The catch? He was invited by both the bride and groom. This tells us two things: 1) Jesus was a popular wedding guest (probably because He could turn water into wine) and 2) Relationships extend beyond the couple. Your family and friends aren’t just there for the big events; they’re essential daily players.
Relying solely on your partner is like trying to navigate the seas with a wonky compass. Sure, you might get somewhere, but it might not be where you intended.
Confucius, an old philosopher dude with a penchant for wisdom, once said, “It’s beautiful when we find someone with whom we can feel at ease.” But remember, he didn’t say ONLY someone.
Don’t stack all your relationship eggs in one basket, lest you end up with a messy omelette.
Finding the Balance
More than Just Counting Hours
Remember that time Jesus fed 5,000 with just a few loaves and fish? It wasn’t about how much food there was, but what was done with it. In relationship land, it’s not always about how much time you spend together but how you’re spending it. Engaging in meaningful activities can turn even short moments into unforgettable memories.
Now, I love a good romantic rendezvous as much as the next person, but you know what’s equally essential? Separate experiences. Like when Paul went on his missionary journeys. He didn’t drag all the apostles with him every time. Sometimes, you’ve got to have your own adventures to bring something fresh to the relationship table.
Doing You, While Still Doing Us
Back in the day, King David had his harp, and boy, did he jam on that thing when he wasn’t busy being, well, a king. Having personal hobbies isn’t just a way to pass the time; it’s a lifeline to who you are outside of your relationship. I mean, wouldn’t it be wild if Noah had said, “Building an ark? Nah, I’d rather just hang with my wife.” We’d all be swimming!
There’s an old Hindu saying, “In separateness lies the world’s greatest misery; in compassion lies the world’s true strength.” Look, while spending time apart might seem counterintuitive, it’s actually like a mini-vacation for your relationship. It gives you a chance to miss each other, and hey, absence does make the heart grow fonder, right?
Drawing the Relationship Blueprint
Jesus set boundaries all the time. When He needed some alone time, He’d head up a mountain for a chat with the big guy. And that’s Jesus, the guy whose love and time everyone wanted a piece of! In relationships, setting boundaries is as essential as those two-by-two animal boarding passes on Noah’s Ark.
Communication is more than just “pass the hummus” or “you pick the Netflix show tonight.” It’s about voicing what you need and want. And while we’re on the topic, can we all agree personal space isn’t just about how far you sit from each other on the couch? It’s about understanding when your partner needs time with their thoughts, hobbies, or just their latest book club read.
Maintaining that balance? It’s like trying to walk in Solomon’s wise shoes while dancing to David’s harp tunes. Tricky, yes, but oh so rewarding.
Signs It’s Time to Take a Step Back
Restless in Relationship-ville
Remember Jonah? Yeah, that guy who tried to outrun God and ended up in the belly of a fish. Talk about feeling trapped! Now, while your situation might not involve marine digestion, feeling restless in a relationship isn’t a sign to ignore. It might just be your internal GPS (Godly Positioning System) telling you to reroute.
Have you ever come across the Taoist principle, “By letting it go, it all gets done?” It’s a nifty idea, suggesting that sometimes doing less accomplishes more. If you’re feeling like a caged bird in your relationship, maybe it’s time to stretch those wings a little. No one’s saying to fly away, but a short flight around the block might not hurt.
The Bickering Chronicles
Paul and Barnabas, dynamic duo of the New Testament, once had such a disagreement they parted ways. Yikes, right? And they were spreading the Word of God!
If these powerhouses of faith could have arguments, then it’s safe to say our relationships aren’t immune either. But if every other conversation feels like a mini Battle of Jericho, then the walls might be telling you something.
Buddha once mused, “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” If that doesn’t sum up constant bickering, I don’t know what does. Disagreements are one thing, but if you’re stockpiling irritations like it’s the end times, a breather might be in order.
Ghosting Fam & Friends: Not a Trend
Ruth said it best: “Where you go, I will go.” But she was talking about a commitment to Naomi, not ditching everyone else at the drop of a hat. Relationships are fantastic, but feeling distant from friends or family? That’s less “cute couple things” and more “Houston, we have a problem.”
The ancient African proverb states, “It takes a village to raise a child.” But who said it stops at childhood? Our village, our tribe, our people—they matter. If you’re starting to feel like a stranger in your own hometown because Date Night turned into Date Life, it’s probably a sign.
Lost Hobbies Alert
David had his psalms, Solomon had proverbs, and you? Maybe it was painting, hiking, or that guilty pleasure boy band (don’t worry, your secret’s safe). When our passions begin to fade in the backdrop of our relationship, it’s like Moses losing his staff. Sure, he could manage, but why would he want to?
There’s an Islamic saying, “Strive for balance; then maintain it.” Our passions and hobbies help keep us balanced. If you find them collecting dust, maybe it’s a divine nudge to remember who you are beyond the romance.
How to Approach the Situation
The Blame Game’s Antidote: Chat Like Jesus
You ever notice how Jesus was the master of communication? I mean, guy literally spoke in parables; He knew how to make a point.
And not once did he start a convo with, “Ugh, Peter, you ALWAYS mess things up!” So, when discussing those “I need some me-time” feelings with your beau, channel your inner Jesus. The golden rule? Express, don’t suppress. And blame? Leave that at the door.
There’s this wisdom from the Bhagavad Gita: “Speak only that which is true, kind, and beneficial.” Basically, the OG version of, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” But, like, on a deeper level. So, ditch the blame game, embrace your inner wisdom, and chat it out. Heart-to-heart, you know?
Got Relationship Bugs? Time for an Emotional IT Guy
Sometimes, relationships have glitches. Think of couples therapy as your IT specialist for love. You wouldn’t toss your laptop for a simple bug (unless it’s been giving you the Blue Screen of Death, in which case, bye Felicia!). Similarly, don’t let hiccups in the love department get you down.
Rumi, that legendary Persian poet, once said, “The cure for pain is in the pain.” Deep, right? What I gather from it is, facing issues head-on, with a sprinkle of professional help, might be your ticket to Blissville.
Vacay for One, Please!
Remember when Jesus took off for 40 days in the wilderness? That was his version of a solo trip (though, with a smidge more temptation and a tad less spa-time). Taking time for yourself can be a revelation. Literally.
Buddha was onto something when he said, “To be a lamp unto oneself.” A little solitude might be just the ticket to reignite your inner lamp, add some shine to your relationship, and come back feeling like you’ve had a spiritual reboot. And hey, who wouldn’t want their partner coming back glowing, both inside and out?
Two Halves of a Godly Whole
Now, we all know the ol’ “two become one” spiel. But here’s the twist – it’s about two whole people becoming one fantastic unit. Yes, your #CoupleGoals pics on Instagram might be on point, but behind the filters, there’s a world where you both thrive in tandem and in solo.
Ecclesiastes gets it: “Two are better than one… but woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up.” So, yep, two’s great, but remember, it starts with one.
In ancient Taoism, there’s this lovely concept of Yin and Yang. Not just an epic tattoo idea, guys, it’s about balance. The light and the dark. The togetherness and the apartness. It’s kind of like… pickles and ice cream. Individually awesome (okay, debatable), but sometimes you want that quirky combo. Just roll with it.
A relationship is like a dance. And anyone who’s ever danced knows that it’s not just about the moves, but also the pauses. The times you come together and the moments you twirl away.
Rumi once said, “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” Now, I’m not saying your beau is a wound, but let’s be real: it’s in our moments apart, in our individual growth, that we let more light in.
To love, God bless!
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Is it normal to want to spend every moment with my boyfriend in the beginning?
Absolutely! In the early stages of a relationship, you’re caught up in the whirlwind of romance, butterflies, and maybe a hint of fairy dust. It’s like the honeymoon phase where everything feels like a Taylor Swift song (pre-reputation era).
This is when you’re discovering new things about each other, and the novelty can be intoxicating. However, like all good Netflix series, binge too much too quickly, and you might find yourself needing a breather.
How do I know if I’m becoming co-dependent?
Here’s the tea: If you find it challenging to make decisions without your beau, constantly seek validation from him, or feel an overwhelming sense of emptiness when he’s not around, you might be venturing into co-dependent territory.
Remember when the Apostle Paul talked about “carrying each other’s burdens”? That’s lovely and all, but it doesn’t mean losing yourself in the process. Healthy relationships cherish interdependence, not just dependence.
Can spending too much time together lead to relationship issues?
Ever heard of “too much of a good thing”? Spending every waking moment together can sometimes cloud judgment and prevent personal growth.
You know, like eating chocolate cake for every meal. Sounds dreamy, but after a while, you might yearn for some veggies. Boundaries, darling! They ensure that your relationship is like a well-balanced diet.
How can we maintain our bond if we decide to spend some time apart?
Diversity is the spice of life! Engaging in separate activities, hobbies, or spending time with other loved ones can actually enrich the stories you bring back to the relationship.
Pro-tip: Try sharing your experiences over a cozy date night. And hey, didn’t the Sufi poet Rumi say, “The beauty of the moon is greater when it’s distant”? Sometimes, a little space makes the heart grow fonder.
What if my boyfriend doesn’t understand my need for space?
Ah, the age-old dilemma. Communication is key here. It’s essential to express your feelings honestly and gently. Make sure he knows it’s not about loving him any less.
Rather, it’s about loving both him and yourself in the best possible way. Remember, Confucius once said, “Respect yourself and others will respect you.” It’s all about mutual understanding.
If all else fails, maybe share this article? Just a thought! 😉