Are You Frustrated? Finding Your Boaz Without Losing Your Mind

So you’re knee-deep in the Christian dating scene, trying to find your Ruth or your Boaz, and you’re starting to think that maybe they missed the memo about showing up.

You’ve been to every church function, tried every Christian dating app, and even sat through that awkward singles mixer that felt more like a job interview than a night out on the town.

But before you start thinking you might be destined for a life of solitude, with only your collection of Bible trivia to keep you company, let’s take a breather and look at the hilariously complex world of Christian dating.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Finding a Godly partner should be simple, right? Find someone who loves Jesus, has a decent singing voice for those worship nights, and can quote more Scripture than the Devil when he’s trying to tempt you with that second slice of cake.” But, my friends, we are living in a time where ‘Christian’ is a broad term. You’ve got your Sunday-only folks, your Bible study leaders, and then those who think that just because they’ve seen “The Prince of Egypt” they’ve got the whole Christian thing down.

But let’s hark back to the good old days, shall we? I’m talking about the days when courtship was king, and you couldn’t even glance at a potential love interest without having a chaperone breathing down your neck. I mean, can you imagine Isaac and Rebekah’s first encounter in today’s world? It would probably involve swiping right and an awkward text conversation rather than a servant finding a wife for his master’s son. But hey, at least they didn’t have to worry about ghosting!

“And they called Rebekah and said to her, ‘Will you go with this man?’ She said, ‘I will go.'” – Genesis 24:58

Talk about commitment! Rebekah didn’t need a ten-step plan to know Isaac was the one. She just packed up her camels and went. Sometimes I think we could use a little bit of that decisiveness in our dating lives.

But before you start packing your bags and waiting for your servant to show up, let’s talk about what a healthy, Godly relationship actually looks like. Because while the Bible may not have a verse that says, “Thou shalt not date a guy who uses ‘LOL’ too liberally in his texts,” there are plenty of Scriptures that give us a clear picture of what we should be looking for.

Read: What Does ‘Christian’ Mean?

For starters, let’s consider the love chapter, shall we? No, not that cheesy romance novel you’ve got hidden under your bed, I’m talking about 1 Corinthians 13. You know, the one that gets read at virtually every Christian wedding ever? It’s like the Apostle Paul was onto something when he penned:

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-6

If your relationship checklist doesn’t include at least a few of those qualities, you might want to revise that list. Because let’s be honest, a relationship built on impatience, envy, and boasting sounds about as appealing as a worship service without coffee.

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And speaking of qualities, let’s not forget the ultimate example of a Godly man: Jesus. Now, I’m not saying your significant other should be able to walk on water or feed 5,000 people with a couple of fish and some bread, but striving to be Christ-like isn’t a bad place to start. I mean, if he’s loving his neighbor as himself and not just loving to beat his high score on his latest video game obsession, you might be onto something good.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “But what about attraction? Shouldn’t my future spouse make my heart flutter like the wings of the doves in Song of Solomon?” Absolutely! I’m pretty sure when Solomon was writing all that poetic stuff, he wasn’t thinking about someone who made his heart feel like a flat soda. Attraction is important, but let’s not forget that it’s the character that keeps a relationship going long after the initial butterflies have flown away.

“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” – Proverbs 31:30

Substitute ‘woman’ with ‘man’ as needed, and you’ve got yourself a truth bomb that’s been ticking since the days of Solomon. Looks fade, but a heart that fears the Lord? Now that’s something that’ll last longer than your church’s worship leader’s solo career (and let’s face it, some of those solos feel eternal).

So you’re navigating this sea of singleness, paddling through a current of “It’s not you, it’s God’s timing,” and suddenly, you spot someone on the horizon. They’re involved in ministry, they’ve got a prayer life that would make Daniel jealous, and they actually understand your VeggieTales references. Jackpot, right? But hold your horses—or should I say, your chariots—because a shared love for talking vegetables doesn’t necessarily equate to a lifetime of marital bliss.

Remember, even Samson, with all his strength, didn’t exactly have the best track record with relationships. Delilah might have had locks that made her the envy of every Philistine woman, but let’s just say her intentions were less than pure.

“After putting him to sleep on her lap, she called for someone to shave off the seven braids of his hair, and so began to subdue him. And his strength left him.” – Judges 16:19

The moral of the story? Keep your eyes open for Delilahs and Delilahs-in-disguise. Emotional strength and spiritual discernment are just as crucial as those biceps you’ve been flexing for the ‘gram.

Read: Christian Dating vs Worldly Dating

And while we’re on the subject of discernment, let’s talk about the ultimate deal-breaker: unequal yoking. No, I’m not talking about your failed attempt at making an omelet this morning. I’m talking about the kind of partnership that the Apostle Paul warned us about.

“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” – 2 Corinthians 6:14

Sure, it might sound like something straight out of a farming manual, but this piece of advice is as relevant today as it was back in the first century. If you’re more in sync with your partner’s Netflix queue than their values and beliefs, it might be time for a serious heart-to-heart… with yourself.

But let’s wrap this up with a little ray of hope, shall we? Because despite the awkward first dates, the cringe-worthy pickup lines, and the ghosting that could rival the Holy Ghost (just kidding, nothing tops the Holy Ghost), there’s something beautiful about the pursuit of a Godly relationship. It’s a journey that’s less about finding someone who can quote Scripture at the drop of a hat and more about finding someone with whom you can grow in faith and love. It’s about discovering a partner who will stand by you, not just on the sunny days but also through the proverbial plagues of Egypt—locusts and all.

So you keep praying, keep trusting, and keep your eyes open for those red flags that are as obvious as the parting of the Red Sea. Because at the end of the day, a relationship that honors God is worth every awkward coffee date, every “I’m just waiting on the Lord” conversation, and yes, even every painfully slow church potluck line.

And remember, the greatest love story ever told wasn’t between a man and a woman; it was between a Creator and His creation. It’s the kind of love that hung on a cross and conquered the grave, the kind of love that we’re called to emulate in our relationships.

“We love because He first loved us.” – 1 John 4:19

So while you’re out there looking for the one who will make your heart sing louder than the church choir on Easter Sunday, don’t forget to love like He did—sacrificially, unconditionally, and with a little bit of humor to get you through the rough patches.

In Christian dating, you might find yourself feeling more like you’re weaving a tangled mess than a beautiful masterpiece. But just like those intricate tapestries from days of yore, with time, patience, and a little divine intervention, the picture will start to come together.

And who knows? Maybe one day, you’ll be the one giving out sage advice to the next generation of Christian singles, telling them about the time you thought you’d never find ‘the one’—until you did. And when that happens, just remember to pass on the wisdom, the laughs, and the reminder that a Godly relationship is always worth the wait.