Should a Girlfriend Submit to Her Boyfriend Before Marriage?

So, you’ve been binge-watching those romantic dramas again, haven’t you?

And somewhere between the heartbreaks, make-ups, and those oh-so-perfect rain-kissed scenes, you stumbled upon this age-old debate: to submit or not to submit? That is the question.

Now, before you start imagining yourself in a Shakespearean play, let’s break this down.

she dominates him

Submission to Him…What?!

Submission in relationships isn’t about reenacting a scene from “50 Shades of Grey” (unless that’s your thing, no judgment here). It’s more about understanding the dynamics of power, respect, and, well, who gets control of the Netflix remote.

Submission has been around longer than your grandma’s secret cookie recipe. And just like that recipe, it’s got a mix of everything – a dash of culture, a sprinkle of religion, and a whole lot of “that’s how things have always been done.”

But here’s the twist: while grandma’s cookies might always be a hit at family gatherings, the idea of submission? Not so much. Especially when Aunt Karen chimes in with her two cents about how “back in her day” women knew their place. Cue the eye rolls.

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Dating today isn’t what it used to be. I mean, we’re swiping left and right, sending GIFs as pick-up lines, and ghosting is an actual thing (and not the fun Halloween kind).

So, where does submission fit into this modern love saga? Some argue it’s outdated, like those low-rise jeans you’ve been hoarding since 2005. Others believe it’s about mutual respect and understanding. But here’s the tea: it’s all about what works for YOU.

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Because, at the end of the day, your relationship isn’t a one-size-fits-all kind of deal. It’s a custom-made, tailor-fit, “this feels right for us” journey. And if that journey involves a bit of give and take? Well, that’s just part of the adventure.

The Biblical Perspective

So, you’ve been flipping through the Good Book, and you’ve landed on Ephesians 5:22-33. Yep, that’s the one where it talks about wives submitting to their husbands.

Before you start imagining yourself in a long robe, sandals, and living in a tent, let’s chat. The Bible, like that mysterious text you got at 2 AM last Saturday, needs context.

Ephesians 5:22-33 is like that viral tweet everyone’s talking about. It says wives should submit to their husbands, but hold up! Before you throw your hands up and swear off dating forever, let’s get something straight. This was written in a time when sandals were the height of fashion.

Read: How Does a Christian Man Lead in Dating?

Times have changed, my friend. And while the Bible offers some timeless wisdom, it’s essential to remember that being a wife and being a girlfriend are as different as your daytime look and your “it’s a date” look.

Now, we’ve all met that one person who loves to twist words, right? The same happens with the Bible. Some folks, let’s call them the “misinterpretation mafia,” love to use these scriptures as their personal power play. “The Bible says you should submit, so make me a sandwich!”

Uh, no, Chad. That’s not how this works. It’s crucial to dig deeper and understand the real essence of biblical submission. It’s not about control or turning you into a doormat. It’s about love, respect, and partnership.

So, the next time someone tries to pull the “Bible card” on you, remember: it’s all about context and understanding. And maybe, just maybe, Chad should make his own darn sandwich.

The Modern Perspective

So, here we are, living in an era where you can order food, a date, and a llama-themed birthday party all from the comfort of your couch. Relationships in the 21st century are as unpredictable as the next TikTok trend.

Let’s dive into this modern love maze and see where submission fits in, shall we?

Relationships have evolved, and thank goodness for that! Gone are the days when you’d wait by the landline, hoping your crush would call. Now, we’re decoding emojis, navigating the “seen” feature, and figuring out the optimal time to text back without seeming too eager.

But with all these changes, there’s a clear distinction between dating and marriage. Dating is like the free trial version, while marriage is the full subscription. And just like any subscription, you want to know what you’re signing up for.

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So, while dating is about exploring, understanding, and a lot of Netflix and chilling, marriage is about commitment, partnership, and yes, still a lot of Netflix (but maybe less chilling).

Now, let’s talk about the big S – submission. In today’s world, it’s less about “you do as I say” and more about “let’s figure this out together.” It’s not a tug of war; it’s a dance.

A dance where sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow, and sometimes you both end up laughing because someone stepped on someone’s toes. Mutual respect is the name of the game. It’s about valuing each other’s opinions, understanding boundaries, and building a partnership where both shine.

So, if anyone tries to tell you that submission means you lose your voice, tell them the 21st century called, and it wants its outdated views back. Because in this era, relationships are all about balance, equality, and binge-watching your favorite series together.

Personal Boundaries and Autonomy

You know that feeling when you’re five episodes deep into a new show, and your partner suddenly decides they want to start watching it with you? And you’re like, “Hold up! This is MY show!”

Well, that’s a boundary, my friend. And just like you don’t want anyone messing with your binge-watching sessions, there are other boundaries in a relationship that are equally sacred.

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Let’s get one thing straight: having personal boundaries doesn’t mean you’re building the Great Wall of China between you and your partner. It’s more like setting up those cute little fences you see in front yards. It’s saying, “This is my space, that’s your space, and look, there’s a lovely little gate where we can meet and hang out.”

Maintaining personal boundaries is like having that secret stash of chocolate that’s just for you. It’s essential for your sanity and ensures you don’t end up resenting your partner for finishing the last piece (of chocolate or your patience).

Now, here’s where things can get a tad tricky. There’s a thin line between compromise and completely losing yourself. And trust me, once you start sliding down that slope, it’s harder than getting out of bed on a Monday morning.

Submitting in a relationship shouldn’t mean giving up your favorite hobbies, ditching your friends, or suppressing your feelings. If you find yourself changing your core beliefs, sidelining your dreams, or feeling like a shadow of your former fabulous self, it’s time for a reality check.

Because, honey, submission should never come at the cost of your sparkle. So, wear those glittery boots, belt out your favorite tunes, and remember: you’re not just someone’s partner; you’re a whole, fabulous individual. And that’s on self-worth!

The Cultural Perspective

So, you’ve been on a few dates, and just when you think you’ve got this whole relationship thing figured out, BAM! Culture steps in, like that uninvited guest who eats all the guacamole. Suddenly, you’re navigating a maze of traditions, beliefs, and a whole lot of “that’s not how we do it in my family.” Let’s unpack this cultural suitcase, shall we?

Read: Is It Healthy to Always Want to Be with Your Boyfriend?

From Bollywood-style romantic gestures to the more reserved Nordic expressions of love, every culture has its own flavor of romance. And with it comes its own set of rules. In some cultures, submission might mean a wife walking a few steps behind her husband (yes, it’s a thing).

In others, it’s about mutual respect and shared responsibilities. And then there are cultures where submission is as outdated as that flip phone you had in high school. The point is, what might seem totally normal in one culture can be a complete shocker in another.

So, before you jump to conclusions or make judgments, remember: it’s a big world out there, and love speaks many languages.

Now, here’s the twist. Even if you think you’re all modern and progressive, culture has a sneaky way of influencing our beliefs. It’s like that catchy jingle you can’t get out of your head, no matter how hard you try.

You might not even realize it, but those Sunday dinners, those childhood stories, and even the way your parents interacted, all play a role in shaping your views on submission. So, the next time you find yourself thinking or acting in a certain way, take a moment to reflect.

Is it genuinely what you believe, or is it just culture playing puppeteer? Because at the end of the day, your relationship should be about what works for you and your partner, not what a centuries-old tradition dictates.

So, go ahead, mix and match, create your own traditions, and remember: love is about understanding, not just following the script.

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Balancing Act: Tradition vs. Today

We all come with baggage – and no, I’m not talking about the emotional kind (well, maybe a little). I mean the cultural and religious suitcases we lug around.

These beliefs, traditions, and values shape us, but here’s the kicker: they shouldn’t confine us. It’s like wearing your favorite pair of jeans from high school; sure, they hold sentimental value, but if they’re suffocating you, it’s time to let go.

Find that sweet spot between honoring where you come from and embracing where you’re headed. Because a relationship thrives on mutual respect, not just age-old customs.

Let’s Talk About It

You know what’s sexier than a candlelit dinner? Open communication. Yep, I said it. Nothing beats sitting down with your partner and laying all your cards on the table.

Whether it’s about submission, who’s turn it is to do the dishes, or that weird thing you do with your toes when you’re nervous. Talk. It. Out.

Understanding is the key to any successful relationship. And hey, if you can navigate the tricky waters of submission together, you can pretty much handle anything. Zombie apocalypse? Bring it on!

So, as you venture forth into the wild world of dating, remember: it’s not about who submits to whom. It’s about two people, joining forces, and taking on the world together. And maybe, just maybe, sharing that last slice of pizza. Because that, my friends, is true love.

To love, God bless!

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

What does it mean to “submit” in a relationship?

In the lovey-dovey world of relationships, “submit” isn’t about waving a white flag or surrendering your stash of secret chocolates. It’s about a mutual understanding, where sometimes you prioritize your partner’s wishes or views over your own. But here’s the catch: it should be a two-way street, not a one-way dead-end.

Is submission a sign of weakness?

Oh, honey, submission is as much a sign of weakness as wearing pink is a sign of being “girly.” It’s all about context. In a healthy relationship, choosing to submit on certain issues can be a sign of strength, trust, and maturity. But if you’re constantly bending over backward and losing yourself, then it’s time for some self-reflection.

How can I maintain my identity while respecting my partner’s wishes?

Think of your relationship as a Venn diagram. There’s a “you” circle, a “them” circle, and a lovely overlap in the middle. While it’s great to find common ground, never let your circle get swallowed up. Keep doing you, cherish your individuality, and remember: a relationship is about complementing, not completing each other.

Are there dangers to submitting too early in a relationship?

Ever jumped into a pool without checking the temperature? Brrr, shocker, right? Similarly, diving headfirst into submission without testing the waters can be jarring. It might set a precedent that’s hard to shake off later. So, take your time, feel things out, and remember: slow and steady often wins the race.

How can I communicate my boundaries to my partner effectively?

Communication is the secret sauce to any successful relationship. Be clear, be honest, and be kind. It’s not about setting up walls; it’s about drawing lines in the sand. And if they respect you, they’ll respect those lines.

Can a man also “submit” to a woman in a relationship?

Absolutely! Submission isn’t gender-exclusive. It’s about mutual respect and understanding. So, whether you’re a guy, gal, or non-binary pal, it’s all about finding that balance.

How do I handle external pressures (from family, society) about submission?

Ah, the age-old “what will people say?” dilemma. Here’s a life hack: people will always have something to say. Your job? Do what feels right for you and your relationship. Nod, smile, and then confidently stride down your chosen path.

Is it possible to have a balanced relationship without the concept of submission?

Of course! Every relationship is unique. Some couples thrive on mutual submission, while others prefer a more egalitarian approach. Find what works for you, and if that means tossing the concept of submission out the window, so be it.

How do I know if I’m being manipulated under the guise of “submission”?

Trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is. A loving partner will encourage you to be the best version of yourself, not a muted version of their ideal. If “submission” starts feeling like “suppression,” it’s time for a serious chat.

Can submission coexist with mutual respect and love in a relationship?

In the right context, absolutely! Think of submission as a dance. Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow, but you always move together in harmony. As long as there’s mutual respect, understanding, and a whole lot of love, submission can be a beautiful part of the relationship choreography.