Should a Christian Man Have a Girlfriend?

So, you’re wondering if you, as a Christian man, should have a girlfriend, huh?

Well, buckle up, because we’re about to dive into the nitty-gritty of Christian relationships and figure out whether it’s the right choice for you, all while keeping it real…

Christian couple standing on mountain
Christian couple standing on a mountain.

Understanding Christian Relationships

Let’s kick things off with a crash course on what Christian relationships should look like. Spoiler alert: it’s not all about holding hands and saying grace together (although that’s cool too).

Dating in the Bible

You might be surprised to know that dating as we know it today isn’t exactly in the Bible. That’s right, no swiping right on Christian Mingle for Adam and Eve.

Instead, biblical couples practiced something called “courting,” which was more about commitment and preparation for marriage than just casual dating.

Take Isaac and Rebekah, for example (Genesis 24). Their families played a major role in bringing them together. Or how about Boaz and Ruth (Ruth 1-4), who followed strict customs to show their intention for marriage?

These stories show that, in biblical times, relationships were purpose-driven and focused on building a life together.

Christian Values in Relationships

In a world where “hookup culture” is all the rage, Christian relationships should stand out like a sore thumb. We’re talking love, respect, and commitment, all wrapped up in a God-honoring package.

As it says in Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

Pros and Cons of Having a Girlfriend as a Christian Man

Let’s face it, no relationship is all sunshine and roses, especially when you’re trying to keep God front and center.

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So let’s break down the pros and cons of having a girlfriend as a Christian man.


  1. Emotional support and companionship: Let’s be real, life can be tough, and it’s always nice to have someone to lean on when the going gets rough (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10).
  2. Spiritual growth as a couple: Two heads are better than one, especially when you’re both working towards a closer relationship with God (Matthew 18:20).
  3. Opportunity to practice Christian virtues: A relationship is a great testing ground for learning patience, forgiveness, and selflessness (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).


  1. Potential distraction from spiritual growth: Sometimes, relationships can be all-consuming, leaving little room for your personal walk with God (Matthew 10:37).
  2. Temptations and challenges to purity: Let’s not pretend that physical attraction isn’t a thing. Maintaining purity can be tough when you’re dating (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5).
  3. Pressure to conform to secular dating norms: It can be challenging to stick to your Christian values when the world around you says otherwise (Romans 12:2).

Guidelines for Christian Dating

Now that we’ve laid the groundwork, let’s dive into some practical tips for navigating the wild world of Christian dating.

Establishing Godly Boundaries

Setting boundaries is crucial for any relationship, but it’s especially important for Christians.

Talk openly with your partner about what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not, and be prepared to compromise (within reason).

Remember, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23).

Choosing the Right Partner

You wouldn’t buy a car without taking it for a test drive, right? The same goes for choosing a partner. Look for someone who shares your faith, values, and vision for the future (2 Corinthians 6:14).

And don’t forget to pray for guidance—God’s got your back, bro (James 1:5).

Seeking Spiritual Guidance and Accountability

There’s no need to go it alone when it comes to dating. Involve trusted mentors, spiritual leaders, and friends in your relationship.

They can offer guidance, support, and a much-needed reality check when things get tough (Proverbs 15:22).

And don’t forget to attend church together—worshipping as a couple helps keep your relationship grounded in faith.

The Role of Courtship in Christian Relationships

Remember that old-fashioned concept of courtship we mentioned earlier? It’s time to give it a second look.

Courtship is all about building a strong foundation for a future marriage, and it can offer some serious benefits over modern dating.

The Process of Christian Courtship

During courtship, couples get to know each other’s families, building trust and understanding for the long haul.

It’s a more intentional, commitment-focused approach that focuses on communication, shared values, and compatibility.

Preparing for Marriage

Courtship is also about preparing for marriage, which includes premarital counseling and discussing important topics like finances, family planning, and future goals.

By addressing these issues before tying the knot, you’re setting yourself up for a strong, lasting marriage.

Navigating Challenges in Christian Relationships

Alright, let’s talk about the elephant in the room: challenges. Because let’s be honest, relationships can be messy, and navigating them as a Christian man is no exception.

Overcoming Temptation

Resisting temptation in a relationship is no easy feat, but it’s possible with some strategic planning. Set boundaries, avoid tempting situations, and lean on your faith when things get tough (1 Corinthians 10:13).

Remember, God is always there to help you through the tough times.

Handling Conflicts

No relationship is conflict-free, but as a Christian man, it’s your responsibility to handle disagreements with love and respect (Ephesians 4:2-3).

And when you mess up (because you will), own up to it, apologize, and be willing to forgive and move forward (Colossians 3:13).


In the end, whether a Christian man should have a girlfriend comes down to personal conviction, intention, and commitment to honoring God in your relationship. Dating can be an opportunity for growth, companionship, and ultimately, finding the person God has called you to marry.

So, Christian men, don’t be afraid to dive into the dating pool—just remember to keep your eyes fixed on God, be intentional in your pursuit, and always treat your partner with love and respect.

And when in doubt, consult the ultimate dating manual: the Bible.


Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Is it wrong for a Christian to have a girlfriend?

No, it’s not inherently wrong for a Christian man to have a girlfriend. The key is to approach the relationship with intention, commitment, and a focus on honoring God. Remember, it’s not about following the world’s dating trends; it’s about finding a life partner who shares your faith and values.

How can I maintain my faith while dating?

Maintaining your faith while dating involves keeping God at the center of your relationship. Pray together, attend church as a couple, and seek guidance from trusted mentors and spiritual leaders. Regularly study the Bible together, and encourage each other in your personal walks with God.

What does the Bible say about physical boundaries in relationships?

While the Bible doesn’t provide specific guidelines on physical boundaries in dating relationships, it does emphasize the importance of purity and self-control. Set boundaries that align with your convictions and help you maintain a God-honoring relationship (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5).

Can a Christian date a non-Christian?

Although it’s not explicitly forbidden, dating a non-Christian can present significant challenges. The Bible warns against being “unequally yoked” (2 Corinthians 6:14), which means entering into a relationship with someone who doesn’t share your faith or values. This can lead to conflict, compromise, and ultimately, a weaker foundation for a lasting relationship.

How do I know if my relationship is pleasing to God?

A relationship that pleases God is one that aligns with biblical principles, prioritizes mutual love and respect, and keeps God at the center. Regularly evaluate your relationship and seek guidance from spiritual leaders, mentors, and the Bible to ensure you’re on the right track. And remember, prayer is a powerful tool for discernment and guidance.