How to Tell Your Christian Parents You Have a Boyfriend

Ah, young love. The butterflies, the late-night conversations, and, of course, the inevitable task of telling your Christian parents that you’ve got a boyfriend. Now, before you start hyperventilating into a paper bag, remember that we’re all in this together (cue High School Musical soundtrack).

Navigating the delicate art of sharing your new relationship status with your faith-focused parents can seem daunting, but… with a little bit of sensitivity, understanding, and a dash of humor (Proverbs 17:22 says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine,” after all), we’ll get through this, one Bible verse at a time.

photo of a shocked dad and mom along with elder sister standing beside them

Preparing for the Conversation


Ah, self-reflection – that thing we all love to do when we’re not binge-watching our favorite show or scrolling through endless memes. But seriously, before you break the news about your newfound love to your parents, take a moment to put down the remote (or phone) and truly reflect on your relationship. Ask yourself the tough questions:

  • Are your feelings genuine or just a passing crush?
  • Is this relationship built on a solid foundation of trust and respect?
  • Can you see a future with this person?

And of course, don’t forget to consider your parents’ expectations and beliefs. After all, they did raise you on a diet of Proverbs and Psalms. Remember what the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7: Love is patient, kind, and all that good stuff. Make sure your relationship reflects those values!

FURTHER READ: I’m a Christian. Can I live with my boyfriend?

Know Your Boyfriend

Now that you’ve done some soul-searching, it’s time to switch gears and really get to know your boyfriend – no, not just his favorite pizza toppings or how he takes his coffee. Dive deeper into the important stuff:

  • What are his core values and beliefs?
  • Is he committed to growing in his faith?
  • How does he treat those around him?

Basically, you want to make sure he’s not just boyfriend material, but also “meet-the-parents” material. After all, as Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Make sure he’s someone who will help sharpen you, spiritually speaking.

Choose the Right Time

Alright, so you’ve done the self-reflection, you’re confident in your boyfriend’s character, and now you’re ready to tell your parents. But wait! Timing is everything, my friend.

Don’t just blurt it out during family prayer time or right after your dad’s favorite team just lost the big game (trust me, I’ve been there). Instead, find a moment when everyone’s relaxed and in good spirits. It might be after Sunday lunch or during a casual family hangout.

Join OTGateway Letters
Short epistles on love, dating & relationships.

And don’t forget to think about who else should be present for the big reveal. Maybe you want your siblings there for moral support, or perhaps you’d rather keep it intimate with just your parents.

Remember, as Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” So, choose the right time to share your news, and let the conversation unfold naturally.

FURTHER READ: Can a Christian Girl Date a Muslim Boy?

Approaching the Conversation

Start with Honesty

Okay, so you’ve picked the perfect time and place to break the news. Now, it’s all about being open and honest with your parents. Remember that verse in Ephesians 4:15? “Speak the truth in love.” That’s your motto for this conversation. Share your feelings and thoughts about your boyfriend, and explain why you feel it’s important to have this conversation now.

You might say something like, “Mom, Dad, I know we’ve always talked openly about relationships and faith, so I wanted to share with you that I’ve started dating someone.” Or perhaps, “I’ve been praying about this, and I believe God has brought someone special into my life.”

The key is to be genuine and sincere, just like Jesus was when He talked with His followers (and He had quite a few difficult conversations, am I right?).

FURTHER READ: My Christian Boyfriend Doesn’t Want to Get Married

Address Their Concerns

Now, let’s be real – your parents are probably going to have some concerns. But don’t panic! This is the perfect opportunity to show them how much you respect their values and understand their beliefs.

Start by acknowledging how they might feel about your relationship. You can say something like, “I know you’ve always wanted me to find a partner who shares our faith, and I want you to know that he does too.” Or, “I understand that you might be worried about our age difference, but we’ve discussed it and believe it’s not an issue for us.”

By addressing their concerns head-on, you’re showing them that you’re taking this relationship seriously and considering its impact on your faith and family.

Highlight Positive Aspects

Alright, you’ve been honest, and you’ve addressed their concerns. Now it’s time to let your boyfriend shine! Share the positive qualities that made you fall for him in the first place. Maybe he’s got a heart for serving others or has an amazing sense of humor that keeps you laughing all day long.

Explain how the relationship has had a positive impact on your life – maybe you’ve grown in your faith together or learned to be more patient and understanding. As 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, “Encourage one another and build each other up.” Show your parents how your boyfriend does just that for you.

And don’t forget to discuss common interests and shared values between you, your boyfriend, and your parents. Maybe you all enjoy volunteering at church or have a passion for mission trips. Finding common ground will help your parents see that this relationship is not only good for you but also fits within the framework of your family’s beliefs.

So there you have it – honesty, empathy, and positivity. With these three ingredients, you’re well on your way to having a successful conversation with your Christian parents about your new boyfriend.

FURTHER READ: Long-Distance Christian Relationships

Navigating Difficult Topics

Faith Differences

Alright, let’s dive into the deep end and tackle those difficult topics head-on. First up: faith differences. If your boyfriend has a different religious background, it’s essential to address this with your parents. Remember, honesty is still the best policy here.

Discuss his religious background and how it may influence your own faith. You might say something like, “He was raised in a different denomination, but we’ve had many conversations about our beliefs, and I’m confident that our faiths can coexist harmoniously.”

Explore potential solutions for maintaining your Christian beliefs while in the relationship. This could include attending Bible studies together, praying together, or finding a church that accommodates both of your backgrounds. After all, as 2 Corinthians 6:14 reminds us, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.” So make sure you’re on the same page spiritually!

FURTHER READ: Ruth & Boaz’s Love Story

Purity and Boundaries

Now, let’s talk about the elephant in the room: purity and boundaries. Before your parents start quoting Song of Solomon at you, take the initiative to reassure them of your commitment to maintaining purity within your relationship.

Share with them the boundaries you and your boyfriend have set to honor God and each other. You might say, “We’ve decided not to spend time alone in each other’s homes to avoid temptation.” Or, “We’ve agreed to save our first kiss for our wedding day.”

And don’t forget to be open to your parents’ input on setting appropriate boundaries. They’ve been around the block a few times (I mean, they did raise you, after all) and might have some valuable advice to share.

Future Plans

Finally, let’s talk about the future. You know, that big, scary thing that keeps us all up at night. But seriously, discussing your plans for the future and how your boyfriend fits into those plans is crucial for easing your parents’ concerns.

Share your dreams and goals, both individually and as a couple. Maybe you’re both passionate about mission work, or perhaps you have plans to start a family one day. Whatever it is, make sure your parents know that you’re considering the long-term impact of this relationship on your lives.

Discuss potential challenges you might face as a couple – career goals, family planning, religious differences – and emphasize your commitment to working through these challenges together. As Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says, “Two are better than one… If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” Show your parents that you’re ready to face life’s ups and downs with your boyfriend by your side.

FURTHER READ: 50 Soulful Christian Love Affirmations

Respecting Your Parents’ Input

So, you’ve done it all – you’ve prepared for the conversation, approached it with honesty and tact, and navigated the difficult topics like a champ. Now, it’s time to take a step back and really listen to what your parents have to say. As Proverbs 19:20 reminds us, “Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise.”

Listen Carefully to Their Thoughts and Concerns

As your parents share their thoughts and concerns, make sure to give them your full attention. Put down your phone, maintain eye contact, and resist the urge to interrupt. Remember, this is a two-way street, and they deserve the same level of respect and consideration that you’ve asked for.

Be Open to Their Advice and Guidance

Now, we all know parents aren’t always right (shocking, I know), but in this case, their advice and guidance might just be the secret sauce your relationship needs. After all, they’ve got years of experience under their belts, and they’ve been praying for your future spouse since you were in diapers.

So, be open to their wisdom and input. They might suggest some helpful boundaries or offer insights into potential challenges you haven’t considered yet. Embrace their advice with humility and gratitude, knowing that it comes from a place of love.

FURTHER READ: Your Spouse Says No to Sex

Acknowledge That Their Input Comes from Love and Concern for Your Well-being

Lastly, it’s important to remember that at the end of the day, your parents’ input comes from a place of love and concern for your well-being. They want what’s best for you, and their advice is grounded in their faith and experiences.

So, whether you agree with everything they say or not, take a moment to acknowledge their love and care. A simple “thank you” or “I appreciate your concern” can go a long way in maintaining a healthy and open dialogue with your parents about your relationship.

In the end, respecting your parents’ input is not only an act of love and obedience but also a way to honor God and grow in your faith. As Ephesians 6:2-3 says, “Honor your father and mother – which is the first commandment with a promise – so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”

FURTHER READ: 10 Biblical Principles for Successful Christian Dating

So there you have it—your comprehensive guide to telling your Christian parents about your new boyfriend. From approaching the conversation with honesty and sensitivity to respecting their input and tackling difficult topics, you’re now equipped to handle this potentially nerve-wracking situation like a pro.

Remember, as Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” This is your season for love, growth, and open communication with your parents. So go forth, keep an open mind, and may your newfound relationship be a beautiful testament to God’s love and grace.

God bless, Amen.

What is the best way to approach the conversation about my boyfriend with my Christian parents?

The best way to approach the conversation is to be open, honest, and sensitive. Choose a time and place where you can talk without distractions, and calmly explain that you have a boyfriend. Be prepared to share your feelings and thoughts about the relationship, address any concerns your parents may have, and highlight the positive aspects of your boyfriend and the relationship.

How do I discuss faith differences if my boyfriend has a different religious background?

Be upfront about your boyfriend’s religious background, and address any concerns your parents might have about the influence of his beliefs on your faith. Explore potential solutions for maintaining your Christian beliefs while in the relationship, such as attending Bible studies together or finding a church that accommodates both of your backgrounds.

How can I reassure my parents about purity and boundaries in my relationship?

To reassure your parents, openly discuss the boundaries you and your boyfriend have set to maintain purity within the relationship. Be open to your parents’ input on setting appropriate boundaries, and show them that you are committed to upholding your Christian values.

What should I do if my parents disapprove of my relationship?

If your parents disapprove of your relationship, it’s important to listen carefully to their concerns and try to understand their perspective. Be open to their advice and guidance, and remember that their input comes from a place of love and concern for your well-being. If possible, work together to find common ground or solutions to address their concerns.

How can I help my parents see the positive aspects of my boyfriend and our relationship?

Share the positive qualities of your boyfriend, such as his character, kindness, and commitment to his faith. Explain how the relationship has had a positive impact on your life and spiritual growth. Discuss common interests and shared values between you, your boyfriend, and your parents to help them see the benefits of the relationship.

Should I involve my boyfriend in the conversation with my parents?

While it’s important to have an initial conversation with your parents on your own, involving your boyfriend in future discussions can be a good idea. This allows your parents to get to know him better and ask any questions they may have directly.

How do I address potential challenges we might face as a couple with my parents?

Be honest about any potential challenges you might face as a couple, such as career goals, family planning, or religious differences. Discuss how you plan to work through these challenges together and reiterate your commitment to making the relationship work despite these obstacles.

How can I maintain open communication with my parents about my relationship moving forward?

To maintain open communication, make an effort to regularly update your parents on your relationship and discuss any concerns or changes as they arise. Be open to their advice and input, and strive to create a supportive and understanding environment where everyone feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings.

What if my parents still have concerns after our conversation?

It’s natural for parents to have concerns, especially when it comes to the well-being of their children. If your parents still have concerns after your conversation, continue to listen and address their worries. Remember that it may take time for them to fully process and accept your relationship, so be patient and understanding.

What Bible verses can I reference during the conversation with my Christian parents?

Some helpful Bible verses to reference during the conversation include Ephesians 4:15 (“Speak the truth in love”), 2 Corinthians 6:14 (“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers”), Proverbs 19:20 (“Listen to advice and accept discipline”), and Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (“Two are better than one… If either of them falls down, one can help the other up”). These verses can provide guidance and support as you navigate the conversation with your parents.