What Should Christian Dating Look Like?

Ever heard the one about how “If you pray hard enough, God will literally drop your soulmate right in front of you”? Yeah, if only it were that simple.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m all for divine intervention. But let’s be real, sometimes it feels like finding a fellow believer who doesn’t think “turn the other cheek” means letting someone steal your fries is like searching for a needle in a haystack. And not just any haystack. I’m talking about a haystack the size of Texas.

But here’s the silver lining: amidst all the chaos and unsolicited advice from Aunt Karen about how you’re “not getting any younger,” lies the golden rule of Christian dating. It’s not about finding someone who checks all the boxes but finding someone who shares your biblical perspective. Because in this ever-changing modern world, where dating norms shift faster than you can say “swipe left,” holding onto a biblical view of romance is more important than ever.

Remember that time when Moses took a detour in the desert? Yeah, dating can feel a lot like that. But with a solid biblical perspective, you’ve got the ultimate GPS.

So, keep your eyes on the prize, and whatever you do, don’t let Aunt Karen set you up on any blind dates.

key to happiness
Remember, he’s not the key to your happiness. You both create it together.

The Biblical Foundation of Dating

Seeking God’s Will: When Divine DMs are Better than Texts

So, you’ve decided to jump into the dating pool, and you’re looking for that divine sign. Maybe a burning bush or, at the very least, a very specific fortune cookie. But here’s the tea: seeking God’s will in dating is less about waiting for a neon sign from the heavens and more about tuning into that still, small voice.

“In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” – Proverbs 3:6

Now, I’m not saying you’ll get a DM from the Almighty on Instagram (though, how cool would that be?), but when you genuinely prioritize His guidance, things start to get a bit clearer. It’s like turning on the high beams on a foggy night. Suddenly, the path isn’t so murky.

But let’s get real for a second. Seeking God’s will in a relationship isn’t just about avoiding the “bad apples.” It’s about finding someone who’s on the same spiritual wavelength as you. Someone who, when you say, “I’m praying about it,” doesn’t think you’re just stalling for time.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11

So, the next time you’re stressing about whether to swipe left or right, take a moment. Breathe. And remember that the best matchmaker isn’t an app or your best friend—it’s the One upstairs. And trust me, His track record is impeccable.

Read: The Early Stages of Christian Dating

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The Purpose of Christian Dating: More than Just Coffee and Cute Selfies

Alright, let’s spill some holy water on this topic. What’s the real deal with Christian dating? Is it just about grabbing coffee, taking cute selfies for the ‘gram, and hoping for the best? Well, not quite.

You see, the true intent behind Christian dating isn’t just about finding someone to binge-watch “The Chosen” with (though that’s a sweet bonus). It’s about getting to know another soul, diving deep into their hopes, dreams, and yes, their favorite Bible verses, all with the endgame of—you guessed it—marriage in mind.

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.” – Proverbs 18:22

Now, I can hear some of you saying, “Whoa there, slow down! I just wanted to grab a latte, not pick out wedding colors!” And I get it. But here’s where we draw the line between recreational dating and purpose-driven dating.

Recreational dating is like those free trial subscriptions. It’s fun while it lasts, but you know you’re not really committing. You’re just there for the perks. On the flip side, purpose-driven dating is like investing in a lifetime membership. You’re in it for the long haul, and you’re ready to put in the work.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor.” – Ecclesiastes 4:9

So, the next time you’re on a date and you’re tempted to keep things surface-level, challenge yourself. Dive a little deeper. Ask the big questions. And remember, in the world of Christian dating, it’s not just about finding a partner; it’s about finding a purpose.

Read: Christian Dating in a Godless World [Book Explored]

The Role of Purity and Boundaries: Because “Netflix and Chill” Isn’t in the Bible

Let’s dive into the deep end, shall we? Purity and boundaries. Two words that can make even the most devout Christian squirm in their seat. But why is that? Maybe it’s because we live in a world where “just a little bit further” is the mantra, and “wait for it” sounds like a broken record from the 90s.

First off, let’s talk about that sneaky little thing called lust. Oh, you know what I’m talking about. Those butterflies that feel more like bats in your stomach. That voice in your head that says, “It’s just a kiss, what’s the big deal?”

“But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” – Matthew 5:28

Yikes! That’s some heavy stuff right there. But here’s the thing: purity isn’t just about avoiding the “big sins.” It’s about guarding your heart and mind from those little compromises that can lead you down a slippery slope.

Now, onto boundaries. Think of them as the guardrails on the highway of love. They’re not there to ruin your fun; they’re there to keep you safe. And just like you wouldn’t drive without them, you shouldn’t date without them either.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” – Proverbs 4:23

But here’s where it gets real. Setting boundaries isn’t just about saying “no.” It’s about mutual respect and understanding. It’s about having those awkward conversations and being on the same page. Because let’s face it, if you’re not rowing in the same direction, you’re just going in circles.

So, the next time you’re tempted to blur those lines, take a step back. Remember the bigger picture. And always, always, always prioritize respect, understanding, and a whole lot of prayer. Because in the game of love, it’s better to play by the rules than to get played.

Read: You Are Catholic and Your Partner is Protestant

Biblical Courtship: Where DMs Meet the Good Book

Ah, courtship. The word alone might conjure up images of candlelit parlors, long handwritten letters, and maybe a horse-drawn carriage or two. But before you start imagining yourself in a Jane Austen novel, let’s get something straight: biblical courtship isn’t about living in the past. It’s about bringing timeless principles into our oh-so-modern world.

Now, for those of you who might be scratching your heads, let’s break it down. Courtship is like the OG dating system. It’s intentional, it’s purposeful, and it’s all about getting to know someone with marriage in mind. None of that “let’s just see where this goes” business.

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” – Genesis 2:24

But how does biblical courtship differ from modern dating, you ask? Well, for starters, it’s less about playing games and more about seeking God’s will. It’s not about “catching feelings” but about building a solid foundation for a future together.

“Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.” – Psalm 127:1

And here’s the kicker: in biblical courtship, both parties are accountable. Not just to each other, but to their families, their church, and most importantly, to God. It’s like having a whole team of cheerleaders, coaches, and referees all rolled into one.

So, the next time you’re tempted to dive headfirst into the dating pool, consider taking a step back. Maybe it’s time to trade in those fleeting DMs for some good old-fashioned intentionality. Because when it comes to love, sometimes the old ways are the best ways.

Read: What Does It Mean to Be a Godly Christian Wife?

Practical Tips for Christian Dating

Knowing Your Worth: Because You’re Not a BOGO Deal

Alright, let’s have some real talk. Ever been on a date where you felt like you were on a clearance rack? You know, where you’re trying to prove your worth, hoping they’ll see past the “flaws” and pick you? If that’s you, first off, virtual hug. Second, let’s set the record straight: You, my friend, are not a buy-one-get-one-free deal. You’re premium, top-shelf material.

“But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.” – 1 Peter 2:9

Now, I get it. The dating scene can sometimes feel like a marketplace, where you’re constantly being sized up and compared. But here’s the tea: Your worth isn’t determined by how many likes you get on your latest selfie or whether your date thinks you’re “the one.” Your worth is rooted in Christ’s love for you. And let me tell you, that love is unshakable, unbreakable, and unmatched.

So, the next time you’re tempted to seek validation from a dating partner, remember this: You are loved by the King of kings. You are cherished, valued, and set apart. And anyone who can’t see that? Well, they’re probably not worth your time anyway.

Because in the grand scheme of things, it’s not about finding someone who completes you. It’s about finding someone who complements you, as you both find your completeness in Christ.

“I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.” – Song of Solomon 6:3

So, chin up. Know your worth, stand firm in it, and never settle for anything less than God’s best for you.

Read: How Does a Christian Man Lead in Dating?

Communication and Real-Time Interaction: Because “Seen” Doesn’t Count as a Reply

Raise your hand if you’ve ever been personally victimized by the dreaded “seen” notification. Yep, I see those hands. Now, I’m all for modern technology, but when it comes to dating, nothing beats good old-fashioned, face-to-face communication. And no, FaceTime doesn’t count.

“Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.” – Ephesians 4:25

In a world of emojis, GIFs, and 280-character tweets, it’s easy to forget the art of real-time interaction. But here’s the thing: A heart emoji can never replace the warmth of a genuine smile. And a “LOL” will never have the same effect as hearing someone’s infectious laughter.

Now, I’m not saying you should ditch your phone and go all old school (though sending a handwritten letter once in a while wouldn’t hurt). But there’s something to be said about the depth and authenticity that comes from engaging in real-time communication.

“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” – Colossians 4:6

And here’s the kicker: Regular communication isn’t just about keeping the conversation going. It’s the key to understanding and building trust. It’s about peeling back the layers, diving deep, and truly getting to know the person behind the profile picture.

So, the next time you’re tempted to send a quick text or a flirty emoji, challenge yourself. Pick up the phone. Better yet, meet up for coffee. Because when it comes to building a solid foundation in a relationship, nothing beats real-time interaction.

And remember, in the game of love, it’s not about who texts first. It’s about who’s willing to keep the conversation going, even when the going gets tough.

Read: Do Looks Matter in a Christian Relationship?

Being Confident in Your Choices: Because You’re Not Picking a Netflix Show

Alright, squad, gather ’round. Let’s chat about choices. Now, I’m all for having options. I mean, who doesn’t love a good buffet? But when it comes to dating, treating potential partners like they’re episodes in a Netflix series? Not cool.

“For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.” – Proverbs 2:6

First off, let’s talk discernment. It’s that little voice in your head (or gut) that nudges you when something’s off. It’s your spiritual Spidey-sense, and let me tell you, it’s worth its weight in gold. Because in the world of Christian dating, where everyone’s putting their best foot (or profile pic) forward, discernment is your secret weapon.

Now, I’m not saying you should go all Sherlock Holmes on your dates (though a little detective work never hurt anyone). But it’s essential to look beyond the surface, to dig a little deeper, and to trust that gut feeling.

“Test everything; hold fast what is good.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:21

And here’s where it gets real: Being confident in your choices isn’t just about picking the right person. It’s about standing strong in your personal boundaries and values. It’s about knowing what you stand for and, more importantly, what you won’t stand for.

Because let’s face it, in the dating game, there will always be pressure to compromise, to bend a little, to “go with the flow.” But here’s the tea: Your values aren’t up for negotiation. They’re non-negotiables, deal-breakers, the hill you’re willing to die on.

So, the next time you’re faced with a tough choice, remember this: You are a child of the King. You are worth more than rubies, and you deserve nothing but the best. So, stand tall, be confident, and never settle for anything less than God’s best for you.

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” – Romans 8:38-39

Here’s the silver lining: No matter how many frogs you have to kiss (or swipe left on), no matter how many times you have to pick yourself up and dust off that heartbreak, there’s one thing that remains constant – God’s unwavering love for you.

Because at the end of the day, it’s not about finding someone to complete you. It’s about grounding yourself in God’s love and understanding your worth in Christ. It’s about knowing that you are loved, cherished, and valued, not for what you do or who you’re with, but for who you are in Him.

“We love because He first loved us.” – 1 John 4:19

So, as you venture out into the wild world of Christian dating, remember this: You are not alone. You have a God who loves you, a community that supports you, and a future that’s brighter than any diamond ring.

And who knows? Maybe, just maybe, God’s got someone special in store for you. But until then, keep the faith, stay the course, and always, always, always know your worth.

To love, God bless. 

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

What is the main purpose of Christian dating?

Christian dating is all about getting to know another person with the ultimate goal of marriage in mind. It’s not just about fleeting feelings or temporary companionship; it’s about building a solid foundation for a lifelong partnership based on shared values, faith, and commitment.

How does biblical dating differ from modern dating?

Biblical dating is rooted in intentionality and purpose. While modern dating might focus on casual relationships and “seeing where things go,” biblical dating is about seeking a partner with marriage in mind. It emphasizes mutual respect, shared values, and aligning with God’s plan for relationships.

Why is purity emphasized in Christian dating?

Purity in Christian dating is about guarding one’s heart and mind from temptation and maintaining a relationship that honors God. It’s not just about avoiding certain physical actions but about fostering a relationship built on trust, respect, and genuine love.

How can Christians set clear boundaries in their relationships?

Setting boundaries starts with open communication. Discussing each other’s values, beliefs, and limits early on can help both partners understand and respect each other’s boundaries. It’s also essential to seek guidance from scripture, trusted mentors, and prayer.

What role does communication play in a godly relationship?

Communication is the backbone of any strong relationship. In a godly relationship, open and honest communication helps partners understand each other better, resolve conflicts, and grow together in faith. It fosters trust, mutual respect, and a deeper bond.

How can Christians ensure they are not settling in their relationships?

By grounding themselves in God’s love and understanding their worth in Christ. When Christians recognize their value in God’s eyes, they are less likely to settle for relationships that don’t align with their values and beliefs.

Why is it important to prioritize God’s will in dating?

Prioritizing God’s will ensures that the relationship aligns with His plans and purposes. It brings clarity, direction, and peace, knowing that the relationship is built on a solid foundation that honors God.

How can Christians navigate the challenges of the modern dating world?

By staying rooted in their faith, seeking guidance from scripture, and surrounding themselves with a supportive Christian community. It’s also essential to set clear boundaries, communicate openly, and always prioritize God’s will.

What does it mean to be “unequally yoked” in a relationship?

Being “unequally yoked” refers to entering a relationship where partners have different faith beliefs or values. In a Christian context, it often means a believer dating a non-believer. Such relationships can pose challenges, especially when it comes to core values and life decisions.

How can Christians find confidence in their worth and choices in dating?

By grounding themselves in the truth of God’s word and His love for them. When Christians understand their identity in Christ, they can navigate dating with confidence, knowing they are valued and loved by the Creator of the universe.