How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Origin and Context
You remember that movie, right? “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days”? It’s that classic rom-com where Kate Hudson goes all out to drive away Matthew McConaughey in a short span of 10 days for the sake of journalism. Ah, the things we do for a good story!
But here’s a little twist for all my faith-driven peeps out there: What if we took those movie lessons and gave them a spiritual makeover? Trust me, God has seen stranger things happen. After all, Moses did part the Red Sea, and Jonah got swallowed by a big fish (or was it a whale?). The point is, the Bible has got drama and flair to rival Hollywood, so why not have some fun with it?
Emphasis on Comedy
While I’m not suggesting we should model our lives after a romantic comedy (heaven forbid!), there’s no harm in seeing the lighter side of things. And, let’s be real – God has a sense of humor too. Remember when Sarah laughed at the idea of having a child in her old age? Yeah, and then she had Isaac, whose name literally means “he will laugh”. There’s divine comedy for you!
I mean, Buddha once said, “When you realize how perfect everything is, you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky.” So, if the Enlightened One could find humor in life’s perfect imperfections, surely we can chuckle at our attempts to navigate the wild waters of modern Christian dating.
Value of Authenticity
Alright, confession time: How many of you have pretended to like a band or a food just because your date was into it? Come on, raise those hands. Okay, now put them down before anyone else sees and judges. We’ve all been there.
The thing is, whether we’re talking about relationships or faith, authenticity is key. There’s a beautiful quote from the Quran that says, “God does not change the condition of a people unless they change what is in themselves.” To me, that screams “BE YOU!” The Big Man Upstairs created each of us with our quirks and idiosyncrasies for a reason. Our job is to embrace them, not hide them under a bushel.
Jesus himself was all about genuine connections. He hung out with tax collectors, fishermen, and the like – not because they were influential or had killer Instagram profiles, but because they were real. Authentic. Genuine. And let’s face it, authenticity is what deep, meaningful relationships – with God and our potential partners – are all about.
You want a tip? Next time you’re on a date, be you – the you that sings hymns in the shower, or the you that can’t resist busting a move when the church organ gets going. Remember, if Jesus could turn water into wine, you can definitely turn a potentially awkward date into a genuine connection. Just keep it real.
Read: Is It Healthy to Always Want to Be with Your Boyfriend?
Overcommitment Overload (Day 1)
Love Bombing
Remember that time when David danced with all his might before the Ark of the Covenant? Yeah, kind of like that, but in the dating world, we call it “love bombing”. Suddenly, you’re showering Mr. Righteous with attention, compliments, and maybe even those “Jesus Loves You” socks he mentioned once. I mean, who wouldn’t want those, right?
Sure, Solomon said there’s a time for every activity under the heavens, but maybe we could space out the love-bombing a tad? The Buddha had it right when he preached the Middle Way, which means not going to extremes. Maybe that’s advice we could use here, too. A compliment here, a gift there – no need to unleash all the plagues of affection at once.
Planning the Future
Now, after one (ONE!) date, if you’re already picturing your future together, complete with three kids, a dog named Noah, and a cozy little house two blocks away from your church, it might be time to pump the brakes. Remember, even God took six days to create the earth (and even then, He took a day off!).
While it’s adorable to think of all your future Sunday morning family outings, diving into this on Day 1 might be a tad…ambitious. The Bible tells us in Proverbs, “Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.” And the famous Hindu scripture, Bhagavad Gita, echoes a similar sentiment, “Live in the present, forget the past, and the future will take care of itself.” Let’s take it one prayer at a time, shall we? And maybe keep those baby names discussions to, say, Day 1,000? Just a suggestion.
Needy Nellie (Day 2)
Frequent Calls & Texts
Have you ever tried to memorize a Bible verse? Yeah, it’s rewarding but can be a tad overwhelming. Now imagine being on the receiving end of that energy but through phone notifications! Going for the “Frequent Flyer” award in the texting department can be a lot. We all love those random messages of encouragement, but maybe let’s not channel the enthusiasm of Paul writing his epistles. We wouldn’t want your date to mistake his phone’s vibration for a mini earthquake, especially when most of those vibrations read: “Thinking of you… again… for the 47th time today.”
Remember, Rumi once wrote, “Silence is the language of God.” Perhaps in the age of smartphones, we can loosely translate that to: “Maybe don’t text him every 15 minutes.”
Read: Why Couples Stay Together Despite Toxic Behaviors
Expressing Attachment
It’s Day 2, and you’ve already decided he’s the Joseph to your Mary (minus the immaculate conception). Telling him he’s the answered prayer to all your novenas might be a touch too forward. A heart open to love is a beautiful thing, but ever heard of playing it cool? After all, there’s wisdom in the ancient Taoist saying: “Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.”
Pouring out strong feelings might seem like a good idea when you’re caught in the whirlwind of emotions, but remember what happened when Peter declared his unwavering loyalty to Jesus before the rooster crowed? Yeah… maybe pace yourself a bit.
The journey to true love isn’t a sprint; it’s a marathon (or perhaps a pilgrimage?). Take a deep breath, enjoy the journey, and maybe save some revelations for Day 20 or 30 or 365. There’s no rush; God’s timing is perfect, after all.
Green-Eyed Monster (Day 3)
Extreme Jealousy
Ah, jealousy, that age-old feeling even Cain couldn’t resist when Abel was getting all the heavenly thumbs-ups. Suddenly, your beau liking a friend’s photo on Instagram seems like the modern-day equivalent of Abel’s superior lamb offering. But before you channel your inner green-eyed monster, take a moment to reflect. Maybe he’s just being nice? As the Dhammapada says, “Envy those who do good. It ignites a power within.” Maybe you could try that route? Just a thought.
Now, I’m not saying turn a blind eye if he’s sharing more than Bible verses with someone else, but perhaps give the man some space to breathe? After all, even God gave Adam the entire Garden of Eden to roam around (with a tiny restriction, but who’s counting?).
Baseless Accusations
Throwing accusations without a solid base? Yikes! Remember the time people pointed fingers at innocent old Daniel and got him thrown into the lion’s den? We all know how that turned out. History has its way of teaching lessons, and this one’s golden: Don’t be too hasty with those baseless allegations.
We’ve got the eighth commandment telling us not to bear false witness against our neighbors. And if you need more worldly wisdom, Confucius once said, “Baseless suspicion begets deceit.” And trust me, if there’s anything scarier than lions in a den, it’s a relationship built on deceit.
Moral of our Day 3 story? Dial down the drama, keep those wild suspicions in check, and remember – everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt. Even if they did spend an extra minute chatting with the church’s new guitarist after Sunday service. Cool your jets, future warrior of love! The righteous path is sometimes the one with the most patience.
Read: Does the Concept of Gay Ear Exist Today?
Living in the Past (Day 4)
Mentioning Exes
Ah, the past. It’s like that old, worn-out sandal you keep in your closet: comfortable, full of memories, but maybe not the best choice for a first impression. And you know who else belongs in that ‘past’ category? Yep, exes. Continuously referencing old flames on Day 4 is akin to Moses reminding the Israelites about their not-so-great times in Egypt while on their way to the Promised Land. Let’s face it; no one needs to hear about your ex’s miraculous ability to turn water into wine (or was it just whining?).
The Buddha wisely said, “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” Now, if Buddha and Moses met at a coffee shop, they’d probably high-five each other and say, “Keep the exes out of the present moment!”
Sharing Old Memories
Unrolling the scroll of your previous love stories? Let’s think about this for a second. Remember Noah? Guy was righteous, had an ark, faced a flood—pretty epic stuff. But even he knew not to go on and on about those pre-flood days while trying to win someone’s heart post-apocalypse.
Judaism, through the wisdom of the Talmud, says, “We do not see things as they are, but as we are.” So maybe, just maybe, sharing those past love stories isn’t about keeping memories alive, but about finding where we fit in the present narrative.
Delving into past romances on Day 4 is a wee bit like offering stale manna to guests. It was heavenly once, but now? Not so much. Keep the focus on the fresh and new, and let yesterday’s tales find their place in the annals of history. After all, every day is a new page, a fresh start, and an opportunity for a brand-new love story.
Communication Catastrophe (Day 5)
Avoiding Important Talks
Dodging significant discussions in a budding relationship? Classic move. It’s a bit like Jonah trying to avoid God’s call by jumping on the next ship out. And we all know how that went. A big fishy wake-up call. While you may not end up in the belly of a whale, avoiding important talks is like putting a tiny pebble in your shoe on a long pilgrimage—it’s bound to hurt eventually.
Lao Tzu from the Tao Te Ching said, “Silence is a source of great strength.” True, but maybe not when it’s time to discuss if pineapple belongs on pizza or your views on couple’s devotions. In those moments, silence is…well, just plain awkward.
Read: Napoleon and Josephine’s Love Story
Dramatic Responses
Using emotional outbursts as your go-to response? I imagine even King Solomon, in all his wisdom, would have raised an eyebrow at that. Recall the tale of King David dancing wildly in front of the Ark of the Covenant? Michal wasn’t too impressed with that display of emotions. Now, I’m not saying don’t be passionate, but maybe save the drama for your community theater debut.
There’s a beautiful Sufi saying: “Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates: Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?” Seems simple, right? But when it comes to dramatic responses, sometimes our words hop the fence and sprint straight out of our mouths.
Reacting dramatically to, let’s say, him not remembering you’re a ‘chai latte, no foam, one pump vanilla, 165°F’ kind of person might be a touch overboard. Take a breath. Reflect. Maybe even pray a tad. After all, deep breaths and a touch of humor smooth out the wrinkles of any conversation. Remember, it’s Day 5 – there’s no need to release the dramatic kraken just yet.
Invasion of Privacy (Day 6)
Snooping
Remember Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden? You might recall a certain forbidden fruit incident. Now, I’m not saying checking his texts is like biting into the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge, but…okay, it kinda is. There’s a reason some things are meant to stay private. Privacy is like the Holy of Holies of relationship temples—only the high priest gets access, and even then, only once a year!
Confucius once said, “Respect yourself and others will respect you.” And while he probably wasn’t talking about the urge to casually flip through someone’s diary or peek into their browser history, it certainly applies. Sure, curiosity killed the cat, but don’t let it crash your budding love story. Remember, there’s a fine line between being interested and being, well, intrusive.
Surprise Visits
Thinking of surprising him at work with a home-cooked lunch? Sounds sweet, right? But remember that one time when Jesus went into the temple and turned tables because folks were doing what they weren’t supposed to? Imagine your surprise visit as a mini table-turning moment in his office space. It’s day 6, not day 600!
The Dalai Lama wisely tells us, “A lack of transparency results in distrust and a deep sense of insecurity.” Yes, transparency is crucial, but perhaps showing up unannounced, especially at his workplace, might be seen less as an adorable gesture and more as a sudden, out-of-nowhere pop quiz. And who truly loves pop quizzes?
Surprise him with a thoughtful text or a funny meme during work hours instead. But maybe let him maintain that bit of sanctuary in his personal spaces until he’s ready to invite you in. Or you know, at least until Day 11. 😉
Read: 15 Surprise Ideas to Make Your Boyfriend’s Day
The Embarrassment Eruption (Day 7)
Awkward PDA
Ever heard of the tale of Samson and Delilah? That epic love story with haircuts gone wrong and, well, betrayal. Now, imagine Samson and Delilah in the middle of the market, with Delilah attempting to braid Samson’s hair while feeding him grapes. Doesn’t quite fit the scene, right? This is where I urge you to remember: There’s a time and place for everything, and that includes public displays of affection.
While Rumi, the great Sufi poet, says, “Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along,” I doubt he meant that to translate into an awkwardly long hug in front of a Starbucks counter. Or worse, those cooing baby voices. We all know them. Keep the affection genuine and save the more intimate moments for when you’re, I don’t know, NOT in the middle of a crowded elevator?
Oversharing
Have you ever been in a scenario where someone starts recounting their dream from three nights ago, and you’re stuck pretending to care about their subconscious fantasies about broccoli? Now magnify that feeling by a hundred. That’s what it feels like when you spill your deepest, darkest secrets to his second cousin, twice removed, during a casual BBQ.
Buddha once said, “To keep the body in good health is a duty… otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.” Similarly, keeping the balance between what’s said and unsaid, especially when you’ve just met his folks, can be a form of maintaining healthy relational boundaries.
Recounting every detail of your past, especially when they’ve just handed you the salad tongs, might not be the best timing. While it’s lovely that you trust them, maybe save the story of how you accidentally dyed your hair green during your rebellious phase for, say, Day 300? Just a thought!
Read: Dating Tips for Introverts
Pet Peeve Prodding (Day 8)
Discovering Annoyances
In biblical times, there’s no record of David ever being irked by Goliath’s loud chewing or Moses getting a tad bit annoyed by people who kept asking, “Are we there yet?” on the way to the Promised Land. But rest assured, even our revered ancestors had their quirks. Fast forward to today and the art of discovering someone’s pet peeves can almost feel like a game show. “Behind door number one, we have… socks left on the floor!” You get the idea.
While Lao Tzu in Taoism wisely says, “He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know,” when it comes to pet peeves, sometimes it’s hilarious (for you, not him) to “accidentally” bring them up. Did he just mention he can’t stand the sound of nails on a chalkboard? Perfect opportunity to see how he feels about scraping your fork against your plate!
Being Clingy
We all remember the tale of Ruth, right? Beautiful story of loyalty where Ruth says to Naomi, “Where you go, I will go.” Now, what we don’t want is a modern rendition where it sounds more like, “Where you go, even to the bathroom, I will go.” Following someone around, especially when they’re just popping out to the grocery store or, worse, the bathroom, might not shout “I’m independent!” as loudly as you’d like.
The revered Guru Nanak from Sikhism said, “He who has no faith in himself can never have faith in God.” Applying this to relationships, it’s essential to find faith in your own space, hobbies, and passions. It’s all fun and games to joke about being the human version of a sticky note, but maybe, just maybe, let him breathe? It’s scientifically proven that humans need oxygen. Let’s not deprive the guy.
Read: 10 Secrets to Keep Your Boyfriend Forever
Deal Breaker Discussions (Day 9)
Fake Secrets
Remember when Adam and Eve realized they were, well, starkers in the Garden of Eden? Major revelation! Now, imagine Eve leaning in and whispering, “Oh, Adam, did you know my snake phobia is entirely fabricated?” Eyebrows would have shot up, even if the concept of eyebrows hadn’t been invented yet.
Dropping fake bombshells can be hilarious, in a twisted way. “Did I ever tell you about the time I won the World Spaghetti-Eating Championship in Italy?” or “I used to think unicorns were real until, like, two days ago.” As the Buddha once said, “Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.” So, while your fictional revelation might be entertaining for a hot second, the jig will soon be up!
Fictional Drama
If Shakespeare taught us anything (besides how to rock those Elizabethan ruffles), it’s that all the world’s a stage. Why not use that as inspiration and sprinkle in a little fictional drama? “Oh, that one summer when I joined a traveling circus…” or “Did I mention the time I was the personal hairdresser for a spy?”
Of course, Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) did remind us that “Truthfulness leads to righteousness,” so while your dramatic tales may initially impress, it might be wise to invest in a fire extinguisher for when those pants catch fire. Drama is fun in novels, but in relationships? Not so much. Unless you’re vying for a spot in the next big telenovela, maybe stick to the very real drama of forgetting to take out the trash or finishing the last piece of pie.
Read: What If Your Partner Turns Out to Be Bisexual
The Dramatic Finale (Day 10)
Public Scenes
You know how in ancient Roman times, they loved their theatrics? Gladiators in the Colosseum, Caesar doing his whole “Et tu, Brute?” thing? Well, let’s modernize that spirit a bit. Perhaps channeling your inner drama queen at Starbucks because they used oat milk instead of almond can be your own Colosseum showdown. Raising your voice, stomping your foot, and asking if they’re purposely trying to ruin your day might have bystanders raising their phones for a viral sensation. Hey, if Cleopatra could make an entrance by rolling out of a carpet, you can certainly add a dash of dramatics to your cafe visit!
Seeking Sympathy
Remember when King Solomon was faced with two women both claiming to be the mother of a child, and he had to discern the truth through their emotional reactions? Imagine if Solomon had Instagram and could’ve watched their Stories to see who was genuinely upset and who was, let’s say, “playing it up for the ‘gram.”
Pouring your heart out in public, like during a friend’s baby shower or at the mall, is one surefire way to raise some brows. Crying at the drop of a hat or suddenly feeling faint because the store ran out of your size can make you the talk of the town. In the wise words of Rumi, “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” But maybe, just maybe, make sure the wound isn’t self-inflicted with dramatics.
After all, love is about trust, honesty, and vulnerability. And while it’s fun to jest about these theatrical tactics, it’s probably best to leave the drama for Shakespeare and keep our real-life romances authentic, sincere, and drama-free. Except for the occasional misadventures with oat milk, of course. Those are inevitable.
Read: What If Boyfriend Does Not Like You Being Friends with Other Guys?
The Real Takeaway
Potential Consequences
Remember Adam and Eve? Yep, our original power couple. They made a tiny decision that had a colossal ripple effect. Munching on the forbidden fruit led to, well, a whole mess of things, including some serious eviction woes from the original “Paradise Apartment.” Similarly, playing games in relationships might seem like harmless fun initially, but just like that crunchy bite, it can lead to a world of chaos.
Buddha once said, “Our thoughts and actions lead to our destiny.” If we’re out here intentionally causing ripples in the dating pool, don’t be surprised if the wave comes back bigger and splashier than anticipated. Those fun, playful tactics to lose a guy? They could lose you a chance at genuine love and trust. But hey, on the bright side, at least there aren’t any serpents offering you suspicious snacks.
Honesty in Relationships
Now, let’s talk realness. The Quran beautifully articulates, “God does not love the treacherous or the sinful.” And, while it’s tempting to think that a tiny white lie or a small omission doesn’t count, let’s be honest (pun intended), they add up.
St. Augustine hit the nail on the head when he mused, “Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.” Being genuine and transparent with your partner isn’t just about being a morally upright person; it’s also the bedrock of a deep, meaningful connection. Think of it this way: if you’re playing hide-and-seek in the relationship, sooner or later, someone’s going to end up lost. And trust me, GPS won’t help with that one.
After all, if we’re all searching for that “happily ever after,” it’s probably best found on the path of truth, sprinkled with a bit of humor, a dash of patience, and a whole lot of love. And maybe, just maybe, fewer dramatic showdowns at Starbucks.
To love, God bless!
