My Boyfriend Left Me When I Left Christianity
Editor’s note: This is a guest post by an anonymous friend and edited by our team. We felt some might benefit from the candid experience the writer shared with us. Please note that we at OTGateway do not conform to the views/opinions of our guest writers.
Goodbye to My Believer Beau
Talk about an unexpected parting. One day you’re picking out names for your future children, and the next, you’re reciting Psalm 23 as you walk through the valley of the shadow of breakups.
They say that love conquers all. But when it bowed down to religious differences, I found myself waving goodbye to my Christian boyfriend with a one-way ticket to singledom.
The Emotional Roller Coaster, and I’m Not Talking Six Flags
Welcome to the ride of your life: the emotional upheaval of heartbreak, betrayal, and anger. Fasten your seatbelts, folks, this isn’t for the faint-hearted.
If the Psalms have taught me anything, it’s that even King David, a man after God’s own heart, wasn’t a stranger to raw emotion. Psalm 55:4-5 says, “My heart is in anguish within me; the terrors of death have fallen on me. Fear and trembling have beset me; horror has overwhelmed me.” Heartbreak, meet King David. I think you two will get along just fine.
The Journey from Belief to Non-Belief
A Lost Sheep Finds Herself
Before you start waving your Bible at me, remember even Jesus hung out with tax collectors and sinners. My journey from Christianity to Atheism was a bit like going on a spiritual diet. I looked at the smorgasbord of beliefs on offer and decided to trim the fat, so to speak. It wasn’t about rebelling or running away from a God-shaped hole in my life. On the contrary, it felt like filling that hole with something else – personal responsibility, a hunger for scientific understanding, and a dash of secular humanism.
Romans 14:5 says, “One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike. Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind.” I guess I took this a little too far, considering no days sacred, but hey, it’s all about being fully convinced in your own mind, right?
FUTURE READ: Top 25 Bible Verses For Couples
When the Dominoes Start to Fall
Changing your belief system is a bit like pulling that one brick out in a game of Jenga. You think it’s just one brick, but then everything comes crashing down. Sundays used to mean church, but now it’s just another day of the week. Easter? Just a great excuse for buying discounted chocolate eggs. Christmas? Well, I must admit, I still have a soft spot for twinkling lights and the smell of gingerbread cookies.
One can’t deny that it’s tricky trying to navigate your daily life when your beliefs have shifted. It’s like trying to dance the Tango when you’ve only ever done the Chicken Dance. Things that were once second nature suddenly become as awkward as a giraffe on roller skates.
Feeling Like Noah without the Ark
You know that awkward moment when you’re the only one not singing in church? Yeah, that was me. Being the lone non-believer in a sea of faithful felt like I was left standing in the rain without an umbrella – or in my case, an ark.
Being isolated due to a change in belief is no walk in the Garden of Eden. It’s not just about going solo on Sundays or having no one to say grace with over dinner. It’s more than that. It’s the awkward pauses when religion comes up in conversation, the way people seem to tiptoe around you like you’re a sleeping lion, or the underlying feeling that you’re Judas at the Last Supper.
The Bible says in Ecclesiastes 4:10, “For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!” Sure, it’s tough to stand alone, but I’ve learned to pick myself up. And for those times when I can’t? Well, I’ve discovered that there are others out there who are more than willing to lend a hand. And guess what? Some of them aren’t even Christians! Who’d have thought?
The Emotional Tangle
Love Takes a Knee to Religion
You know that awkward moment when your love life starts resembling a Biblical parable? There I was, head over heels in love, and then BAM! I’m single faster than you can say “Deuteronomy.” All because I swapped out the Sunday sermons for Sunday snoozes.
Ever had a breakup text so long it would make Paul’s letters look like tweets? Yeah, me too. It was like receiving a break-up epistle, only with less “thou shalt” and more “we can’t”. When love takes a back seat to religion, it’s like being on an emotional roller coaster that even King David’s psalms couldn’t soothe.
The Bible states in 1 Corinthians 13:7 that love “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” Apparently, my ex-boyfriend skipped that part in Sunday School.
FURTHER READ: Christian Dating Red Flags
Wrestling with the W Word
Suddenly being single isn’t the real problem. It’s that sneaky sidekick of rejection – the feeling of worthlessness. Like I was a leftover fish from the Feeding of the Five Thousand. Or worse, a non-virgin olive oil in a world demanding the extra virgin variety.
It was like looking in the mirror and instead of seeing a child of God, I saw an episode of “Nailed It,” where everything just looks like a giant fail. But then I remembered, in Psalm 139:14 it says, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” So, I decided, if God thinks I’m a masterpiece, who am I to argue?
Christianity and Me: It’s Complicated
Feeling angry at Christianity felt as irrational as blaming Moses for all the world’s water shortages. It wasn’t the religion’s fault I was feeling like a Biblical outcast, right? Or was it?
Before you clutch your pearls and start reciting the Beatitudes, let me clarify. It’s not the “love thy neighbor” or “do unto others” parts that got my goat. Those are stellar. But when religion becomes the wrecking ball in your life, it’s hard not to feel a bit peeved.
Now, before you throw Matthew 5:22 at me – “But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment” – don’t worry. I’m working on the forgiveness part. And hey, a little righteous anger never hurt anyone. Just ask Jesus in the temple with the money changers.
Healing from the Inside
Navigating the Seas of Loss
My boat of faith may have sprung a leak, but that doesn’t mean I’m ready to go down with the ship. Moving on from a religious break-up is a bit like escaping the belly of a whale – it takes some doing, but it’s not impossible.
Lamentations 3:31-32 says, “For no one is cast off by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love.” If that doesn’t give a girl hope, what does?
FURTHER READ: Top 10 Christian Dating Sites
Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner
Feeling alone? It can be hard, especially when it feels like you’re on the ark and everyone else has paired off. But I’m here to tell you that you’re not alone. Heck, even Elijah thought he was the last prophet standing until God told him about the 7000 others!
Creating a support system is essential. It’s like forming your very own disciple group, minus the miracles and multiplication of food.
Therapy, not just for Nebuchadnezzar
I’ll admit it. Therapy seemed as foreign to me as Nebuchadnezzar eating grass. But just as God sent the troubled king some divine help, I figured a therapist might do the same for me.
And you know what? It’s not half bad. Turns out that listening is a virtue, not just for Job’s friends, but for therapists too!
Self-Care, the Proverbs 31 Way
Who says self-care has to be all bubble baths and chocolates? Though I wouldn’t say no to either, especially the chocolates. Self-care can also mean overcoming feelings of worthlessness by affirming that you’re fearfully and wonderfully made.
I think even the Proverbs 31 woman would approve of taking a break from spinning wool and flax to indulge in a little self-love.
One Step at a Time, Like Moses in the Wilderness
Building self-esteem might seem like wandering in the desert for forty years. But hey, if Moses could lead an entire nation without a GPS, surely we can figure out our own self-worth.
Every step you take toward building your confidence is like another day’s journey toward the Promised Land. And remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day, nor was Jerusalem.
Anger Management, the Jesus Way
Now, I’m not suggesting flipping tables like Jesus in the temple, but let’s not forget that communication played a big part in His ministry too. Diffusing anger isn’t about bottling up emotions and putting on a saintly smile. It’s about open dialogue and understanding, something the Bible has in spades.
James 1:19 reminds us, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” Amen to that.
Shaping a New Tomorrow
Price Tag Not Required
Who decided that our worth depends on something external, like a religious label or a relationship status? I mean, was the prodigal son any less valuable when he was out squandering his wealth? Spoiler alert: no.
Just like the father in the parable, God considers us valuable regardless of our life choices. Remember Luke 12:7? “Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” Now, if that doesn’t speak to intrinsic worth, I don’t know what does.
When Life Gives You Loaves and Fishes
Resilience isn’t just for Biblical heroes like Joseph or Esther. It’s for us, the everyday folk. It’s about being able to say, “You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good,” just like Joseph did when his brothers sold him into slavery. And look how that turned out!
Growing stronger in adversity is about making loaves and fishes out of whatever life throws at you. And hey, if that includes multiplying them, all the better!
FURTHER READ: Should Christian Couples Fight? Finding Harmony in Conflict
Turning the Page, Bible Style
In every Bible story, there’s a “happily ever after,” even if it comes with a couple of plot twists. Noah had his rainbow, Ruth had her Boaz, and I’m pretty sure there’s a new chapter waiting for me too.
Embracing new beginnings is about realizing there’s life beyond heartbreak. It’s about reminding yourself that, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11) And that, my friends, is life beyond the heartbreak, Bible-style.
A Tango with Beliefs and Relationships
The dance floor of life is often a complex shuffle of stepping on toes and twirling around tricky situations. And when you mix in relationships and personal beliefs, it starts to feel like you’re trying to cha-cha in a field of landmines.
In 1 Corinthians 7:14, Paul tells us, “For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband.” But what if you’re dancing solo? It’s no easy task, but if King David could dance before the Ark, I can figure out this two-step.
Riding the Storm with Hope as My Anchor
Every storm has its end. Noah’s did, after forty days and nights. And I’m betting mine will too. There’s a rainbow on the horizon, and I’m eager to discover the pot of gold, even if it takes some mud wading to get there.
Hebrews 6:19 reminds us, “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.” So, I’ve decided to brave this storm, with hope as my anchor and a boatload of faith that I’ll find my shore.
God bless, Amen.
FURTHER READ: My Christian Girlfriend Broke Up with Me
FAQs
Why is it difficult to maintain a relationship when religious beliefs diverge?
Navigating a relationship where religious beliefs diverge can be a tightrope act. Religious beliefs often form the core of an individual’s identity, guiding principles, and life decisions. A difference in this fundamental area can create dissonance, affecting communication, mutual understanding, and shared visions for the future. It’s like trying to salsa to different beats—sooner or later, someone’s going to step on a toe.
What are some strategies for coping with feelings of worthlessness?
Feeling worthless can hit you harder than the whale hit Jonah. But remember, you’re more than your relationship status or your religious beliefs. Look in the mirror and say, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). Engage in self-care practices, connect with supportive friends, explore professional guidance (remember, even Moses had a mentor), and engage in activities that make you feel confident and fulfilled.
How can I manage my anger towards Christianity?
Managing anger towards Christianity is like trying to calm a storm—feels a bit impossible at first, but hey, Jesus did it, right? Start with recognizing your feelings, they’re as valid as Peter’s faith when he walked on water. Try engaging in an open dialogue with Christians who are willing to listen, explore literature that provides differing perspectives, and remember that Christianity, like any belief system, is multifaceted—there’s more to it than one heart-wrenching experience.
How can I rebuild my life after such a significant loss?
Just as Noah rebuilt the world after the flood, you too can rebuild your life after significant loss. Start with acknowledging your emotions—grief, sadness, anger—they’re all part of the process. Reach out to support networks—friends, family, or support groups. Engage in activities that bring you joy and foster personal growth. Seek professional help if needed. And always remember, a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Or, as Proverbs 16:9 puts it: “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”
What should I do if I’m struggling to cope with my emotions after a breakup?
If you’re on the struggle bus with emotions after a breakup, it’s essential to know that you’re not alone—pretty sure David felt the same when he was running from Saul. It’s okay to seek help. Reach out to supportive friends, engage in self-care activities, and consider seeking help from a mental health professional. After all, even the strongest among us need a Simon of Cyrene to help carry our cross at times. And remember, it’s okay not to be okay. Even Jesus wept.
