27 Tests for Your Boyfriend
As Christians, we know that finding the right partner is a pretty big deal. It’s not just about swiping right or left on a dating app; it’s about discovering someone who shares your faith, values, and love for the Lord. So, how do we make sure we’ve found “the one” without resorting to some crazy antics? Let’s chat about the importance of testing your boyfriend (in a totally non-creepy way, of course!).
Now, I know what you might be thinking: “Testing my boyfriend? Isn’t that a bit manipulative?” Well, not if you do it with the right intentions and approach! The goal isn’t to play mind games or set up elaborate traps; it’s about getting to know your potential partner on a deeper level and ensuring that you’re both on the same page when it comes to your faith and future together.
“But test everything; hold fast what is good.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:21
See? Even the Bible tells us to test things out! But let’s be real, there are some common misconceptions about relationship tests that we need to address. First off, testing your boyfriend doesn’t mean you don’t trust him. It’s not about catching him in a lie or trying to expose some deep, dark secret. Instead, it’s about building a foundation of trust and openness in your relationship.
Another misconception is that relationship tests have to be some grand, elaborate scheme. Nope! Sometimes, the most effective tests are the simple, everyday moments that reveal a person’s true character. It could be as simple as observing how he treats the waiter at a restaurant or how he reacts when you have a disagreement.
“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” – Proverbs 31:30
At the end of the day, it’s important to set realistic expectations when it comes to testing your boyfriend. No one is perfect, and we all have our flaws and quirks. The goal isn’t to find someone who checks every single box on your “perfect partner” list; it’s about finding someone who is committed to growing in their faith and building a strong, godly relationship with you.
Communication Tests
Communication is key in any relationship, and that’s especially true when it comes to a Christian partnership. After all, how can you grow together in faith if you can’t even talk to each other? That’s why it’s crucial to put your boyfriend’s communication skills to the test. Don’t worry, we’re not talking about giving him a pop quiz or anything (although that could be fun!).
First up, let’s talk about the “Active Listening” test. This one’s a biggie, folks. Does your boyfriend actually listen to you when you’re speaking, or does he just nod along while secretly thinking about his fantasy football lineup? One way to test this is by sharing something important to you and then asking him to repeat back what you said. If he can summarize your thoughts and feelings accurately, congratulations! You’ve got yourself a keeper.
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” – James 1:19
Next, we’ve got the “Honesty and Openness” test. In a healthy, God-centered relationship, there should be no secrets or hidden agendas. So, how can you tell if your boyfriend is being fully honest and open with you? Pay attention to how he communicates. Does he share his thoughts and feelings freely, or does he clam up tighter than a shell at a seafood restaurant? If he’s willing to be vulnerable and transparent with you, that’s a good sign.
“Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.” – Ephesians 4:25
Last but not least, we have the “Conflict Resolution” test. Let’s face it, even the most perfect couples argue sometimes. It’s how you handle those conflicts that really matters. When you and your boyfriend disagree on something, does he listen to your perspective and try to find a compromise, or does he stubbornly dig in his heels like a toddler refusing to eat his vegetables? A man who can handle conflict with grace and maturity is a man worth keeping around.
“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.” – Matthew 18:15
Remember, the goal of these communication tests isn’t to nitpick or find fault with your boyfriend. It’s about building a strong foundation of trust, understanding, and open dialogue.
Read:Â How to Rizz Your Christian Man
Loyalty and Commitment Tests
Alright, let’s talk about loyalty and commitment, shall we? These are non-negotiable in any relationship, but especially in a Christian one. After all, if your boyfriend can’t be loyal to you, how can you trust him to be loyal to God? It’s time to put his devotion to the test!
First things first, let’s check out his social media behavior. Now, I’m not saying you should go full-on stalker mode and analyze every single like and comment, but pay attention to how he interacts with others online. Does he slide into other girls’ DMs smoother than a greased-up watermelon? Or does he keep things strictly platonic and above board? If he’s liking and commenting on every bikini pic that crosses his feed, it might be time to have a little chat.
“Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you.” – Proverbs 4:25
Next up, the dreaded ex-partner interaction test. Look, we all have a past, but how your boyfriend handles his exes says a lot about his loyalty to you. Does he still have them on speed dial for late-night “emergencies”? Or does he keep a respectful distance and prioritize your relationship? If he’s constantly texting, calling, or hanging out with his ex, it’s time to raise a red flag higher than the ones at a NASCAR race.
“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” – 2 Corinthians 6:14
Finally, let’s talk about the ultimate test of loyalty: prioritizing the relationship. When push comes to shove, does your boyfriend put you and your relationship first? Or does he constantly cancel plans and put you on the back burner? A man who is truly committed to you will make you a priority and be willing to sacrifice for the good of the relationship.
“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” – John 15:13
Now, I know what you might be thinking. “But wait, aren’t we supposed to put God first?” Absolutely! But a man who truly loves God will also love and cherish the woman He has blessed him with. He’ll understand that a strong, healthy relationship is a reflection of his relationship with the Lord.
Read:Â Finding Your Boaz Without Losing Your Mind
Emotional Support Tests
Oh boy, it’s time to talk about emotions! I know, I know, the mere mention of feelings can make some guys want to run for the hills faster than Elijah fled from Jezebel. But in a Christ-centered relationship, emotional support is non-negotiable. So, let’s dive into some tests to see if your boyfriend has what it takes to be your rock in the stormy seas of life.
First up, we have the “Empathy and Understanding” test. Does your boyfriend listen to you with compassion and try to see things from your perspective? Or does he dismiss your feelings faster than the Pharisees dismissed Jesus? When you’re pouring your heart out about a rough day at work or a fight with your best friend, pay attention to his response. If he’s quick to offer a hug and a listening ear, that’s a good sign. But if he’s scrolling through his phone or watching the game while you’re crying, it might be time to reevaluate.
“Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” – Romans 12:15
Next, let’s talk about the “Emotional Availability” test. Is your boyfriend emotionally present and invested in the relationship? Or is he as distant as the east is from the west? When you need him, is he there for you 100%, or does he make excuses and bail faster than Jonah trying to avoid Nineveh? A man who is emotionally available will make you feel like a priority and be there for you through thick and thin.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow.” – Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Last but not least, we have the “Encouragement and Motivation” test. Does your boyfriend uplift you and inspire you to be your best self? Or does he drag you down like the weight of the world on Atlas’s shoulders? When you’re feeling down or doubting yourself, a supportive boyfriend will remind you of your worth in Christ and cheer you on like the Israelites cheered on David against Goliath. He’ll be your biggest fan and your partner in pursuing God’s calling for your life.
“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:11
Now, I know what you might be thinking. “But isn’t it unrealistic to expect my boyfriend to be emotionally perfect all the time?” Of course it is! We’re all human, and we all have our flaws and bad days. The key is to find a man who is consistently striving to love you like Christ loves the church. A man who is willing to learn, grow, and put in the effort to be the emotional support you need.
Read:Â The Concept of a Christian Boyfriend and Girlfriend
Respect and Boundaries Tests
Respect and boundaries, folks. They’re not just important for your personal space bubble at church, but for your relationship too! A guy who can’t respect your boundaries is like a camel trying to fit through the eye of a needle – it’s just not gonna work. So, let’s talk about some ways to test your boyfriend’s respect game.
First things first, let’s discuss the “Personal Space” test. Now, I’m not saying your boyfriend needs to stay six feet apart from you at all times like he’s afraid of catching the plague. But does he respect your need for alone time and independence? Or does he cling to you tighter than a toddler with separation anxiety? If your boyfriend can give you space when you need it and not take it personally, that’s a good sign.
“Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” – Romans 12:10
Next up, we’ve got the “Consent and Autonomy” test. This one’s a biggie, y’all. Does your boyfriend respect your right to make your own choices and decisions? Or does he try to control you like a puppet master pulling the strings? A man who respects your autonomy will support your dreams and goals, even if they don’t align with his own. He’ll trust you to make your own decisions and won’t pressure you into anything you’re not comfortable with.
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” – Ephesians 5:25
Last but not least, let’s talk about the “Respecting Differences” test. Does your boyfriend celebrate your unique qualities and quirks? Or does he try to change you faster than a chameleon changes colors? A man who respects you will love you for who you are, flaws and all. He won’t try to mold you into his idea of the perfect girlfriend, but will appreciate the beautiful, God-given differences that make you, you.
“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” – Romans 12:18
Now, I know what you might be thinking. “But aren’t relationships all about compromise?” Absolutely! But there’s a big difference between compromising and losing yourself completely. A healthy relationship is one where both people feel respected, valued, and free to be themselves.
It’s like a dance where both partners move in perfect harmony, never stepping on each other’s toes. So, put on your dancing shoes, grab your boyfriend’s hand, and get ready to tango your way to a respect-filled relationship.
Read:Â Christian Dating vs Courting
Trust and Reliability Tests
Ah, trust and reliability. They’re like the peanut butter and jelly of a healthy relationship – you can’t have one without the other! But how can you tell if your boyfriend is trustworthy and reliable? Well, buckle up, buttercup, because we’re about to find out!
Let’s start with the “Keeping Promises” test. Does your boyfriend follow through on his word, or does he break promises faster than Samson broke his vows? Pay attention to the little things, like if he says he’ll call you after Bible study but never does. If he consistently flakes on his commitments, it might be a red flag bigger than the ones in front of Jericho.
“Let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” – Matthew 5:37
Moving on to the “Consistency in Behavior” test. Is your boyfriend’s behavior as consistent as God’s love, or does it change faster than the weather in Texas? Does he treat you with kindness and respect in private, but then ignore you in public? Or does he act one way around his friends and another way around you? Consistency is key, folks. If your boyfriend’s actions don’t match his words, it might be time to reevaluate.
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” – James 1:17
Last but not least, we have the “Respecting Privacy” test. Now, I’m not saying you should have more secrets than the CIA, but everyone deserves a little privacy. Does your boyfriend respect your personal boundaries, or does he snoop through your phone and social media like a modern-day Sherlock Holmes? Trust means giving each other space and not feeling the need to constantly check up on one another.
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-5
Now, I know what you might be thinking. “But isn’t it good to have complete transparency in a relationship?” Yes and no. While honesty is important, it’s also important to have a life outside of your relationship. It’s healthy to have your own friends, hobbies, and privacy. If your boyfriend can’t handle that, it might be a sign of some underlying trust issues.
Read:Â What is the Purpose of Dating for a Christian?
Compatibility Tests
Compatibility, my friends, is the secret sauce to a happy and healthy relationship. It’s like finding the perfect pair of shoes – they might look great, but if they don’t fit, you’re in for a world of pain. So, how can you tell if you and your boyfriend are compatible? Let’s find out!
First up, we have the “Shared Values and Goals” test. Do you and your boyfriend have a similar worldview and priorities? Or do you clash more than the Israelites and the Philistines? If your boyfriend’s idea of a perfect Sunday morning is sleeping in and watching football, while yours is waking up early for church and volunteering at the soup kitchen, you might have some compatibility issues.
“Do two walk together, unless they have agreed to meet?” – Amos 3:3
Next, let’s talk about the “Mutual Interests and Hobbies” test. Now, I’m not saying you have to share every single interest (although if you both love competitive Bible trivia, that’s a bonus!). But having some common ground can make for a more enjoyable and fulfilling relationship. Does your boyfriend share your love for hiking and exploring God’s creation? Or does he prefer to stay inside and play video games all day? Finding activities you both enjoy can strengthen your bond and create lasting memories.
“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” – Hebrews 10:24-25
Last but not least, we have the “Lifestyle Compatibility” test. Does your boyfriend’s lifestyle mesh well with yours, or do you feel like you’re constantly butting heads? If you’re an early bird who loves to plan and organize, while your boyfriend is a night owl who thrives on spontaneity, you might face some challenges. It’s important to find a middle ground and learn to appreciate each other’s differences.
“I appeal to you, brothers, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be united in the same mind and the same judgment.” – 1 Corinthians 1:10
Now, I know what you might be thinking. “But isn’t it boring to date someone who’s exactly like me?” Absolutely not! Compatibility doesn’t mean being carbon copies of each other. It means having a foundation of shared values and a willingness to compromise and grow together.
And let’s be real – even the most compatible couples will face challenges and disagreements. The key is to approach those challenges with love, patience, and a whole lot of prayer. After all, God didn’t promise us a life free of troubles – but He did promise to be with us every step of the way.
Read:Â When Your Partner Does Not Equally Contribute Financially or in Other Ways
Financial Responsibility Tests
Money, money, money. It may not buy happiness, but it sure can cause a whole lot of stress in a relationship! So, how do you know if your boyfriend is financially responsible? Let’s dive into some tests that will give you a clue.
First up, we have the “Spending Habits” test. Does your boyfriend spend money like it’s going out of style, or is he as thrifty as a coupon-clipping grandma? Pay attention to how he handles his cash. Does he blow his paycheck on the latest gadgets and designer clothes, or does he carefully budget and prioritize his expenses? If your boyfriend’s idea of financial responsibility is praying for a miracle every time the rent is due, it might be time for a heart-to-heart.
“The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.” – Proverbs 21:5
Now, let’s talk about the “Financial Planning” test. A wise man once said, “Failing to plan is planning to fail.” Does your boyfriend have a financial plan for the future, or does he live paycheck to paycheck with no end in sight? Is he setting aside money for emergencies, investments, and charitable giving? Or is his idea of savings the spare change he finds in the couch cushions?
“For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it?” – Luke 14:28
Read:Â Will My Ex Ever Come Back?
The “Shared Financial Goals” test
Lastly, let’s discuss the “Shared Financial Goals” test. This one’s crucial, folks. Are you and your boyfriend on the same page when it comes to your financial future? Do you have similar attitudes towards saving, spending, and giving? If you’re dreaming of a cozy cottage in the suburbs while he’s fantasizing about a private yacht in the Caribbean, you might be sailing in different directions.
“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” – Matthew 6:21
Here’s the thing: money may not be the most romantic topic, but it’s an important one to discuss in a serious relationship. After all, financial stress is one of the leading causes of divorce! So don’t be afraid to have those tough conversations early on.
“Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.'” – Hebrews 13:5
But here’s the good news: even if you and your boyfriend have different financial habits or goals, it doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. With open communication, compromise, and a shared commitment to biblical stewardship, you can find a way to make it work.
And remember, at the end of the day, money is just a tool. It’s not the source of our security or happiness – that comes from our relationship with Christ. So, keep your eyes on Him, and trust that He will provide for all your needs according to His riches in glory.
“And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:19
Read:Â Why Does He Keep Coming Back If He Does Not Commit?
Future Planning Tests
Alright, folks, it’s time to talk about the future! And no, I don’t mean the kind of future where we’re all wearing silver jumpsuits and flying around in cars (although that would be pretty cool). I’m talking about the future of your relationship. Because let’s be real – if you can’t imagine growing old and wrinkly with your boyfriend, what’s the point?
The “Long-Term Commitment” test
First things first, let’s discuss the “Long-Term Commitment” test. This one’s a doozy. Does your boyfriend see your relationship as a temporary fling or a lifelong commitment? Pay attention to how he talks about the future. Does he make plans for next month, next year, or even next decade with you in mind? Or does he avoid any discussion of the future like it’s a plague of locusts?
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” – Genesis 2:24
If your boyfriend is wishy-washy about committing to you long-term, it might be a sign that he’s not ready for the kind of serious, God-honoring relationship you’re looking for. Remember, ladies, you’re not looking for a boyfriend – you’re looking for a husband!
The “Family Planning” test
Next up, we’ve got the “Family Planning” test. Now, I know this can be a touchy subject, especially if you’re not quite ready to start popping out babies like a vending machine. But it’s important to know where your boyfriend stands on the issue of family. Does he want kids someday? How many? And what kind of parent does he envision himself being?
“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.” – Psalm 127:3
If you’re dreaming of a house full of little ones while your boyfriend breaks out in hives at the mere mention of diapers, you might have some compatibility issues to work through. But don’t panic! With open communication and a willingness to compromise, you can find a way to honor each other’s desires and follow God’s plan for your family.
The “Career and Life Goals” test
Last but not least, let’s talk about the “Career and Life Goals” test. Does your boyfriend have a clear vision for his future career and life path? Is he actively pursuing his passions and using his talents to serve God and others? Or does he spend his days playing video games and watching Netflix, with no ambition or direction in sight?
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” – Jeremiah 29:11
Here’s the thing: you want a boyfriend who is driven, purposeful, and committed to living out God’s calling on his life. A man who is content to coast through life with no goals or aspirations is not the kind of partner you need by your side.
But remember, the future is not set in stone. It’s shaped by the choices we make and the God we serve.
“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” – Proverbs 16:9
As you and your boyfriend navigate the twists and turns of life together, keep your eyes fixed on Christ. Trust in His perfect plan for your lives, and know that He is working all things together for your good and His glory.
And who knows – maybe one day, you’ll be sitting on a porch swing with your wrinkly old husband, reminiscing about the days when you used to give each other relationship tests. But for now, keep praying, keep seeking, and keep holding out for the man God has in store for you. He’s out there, and he’s worth the wait.
Read:Â How to Treat Your Boyfriend Right
Dealing with Challenges Tests
Oh boy, here we go. Dealing with challenges. It’s like the final boss battle in the game of love, and you better hope your boyfriend comes prepared with some serious power-ups.
The “Stress Management” test
First up, let’s talk about the “Stress Management” test. Life can be stressful, my friends. Between work, family, and trying to figure out why the dishwasher keeps making that weird noise, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. But how does your boyfriend handle stress? Does he take it out on you like a punching bag, or does he turn to God and healthy coping mechanisms?
“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” – 1 Peter 5:7
Pay attention to how your boyfriend reacts when things get tough. Does he lash out in anger, or does he take a deep breath and pray for peace? Does he turn to unhealthy vices, or does he lean on his faith and the support of loved ones? A man who can manage stress with grace and maturity is a keeper, folks.
The “Adapting to Change” test
Next, let’s discuss the “Adapting to Change” test. If there’s one thing we can count on in this life, it’s change. And I’m not just talking about the kind of change you find in your couch cushions. I’m talking about big, life-altering changes like moving to a new city, starting a new job, or navigating a global pandemic.
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” – Deuteronomy 31:6
When change comes knocking, how does your boyfriend answer the door? Does he hide under the covers and pretend no one’s home, or does he face it head-on with faith and flexibility? A man who can adapt to new situations and challenges is a man who will weather any storm by your side.
The “Supporting Each Other Through Hardships” test
Finally, let’s talk about the “Supporting Each Other Through Hardships” test. In any relationship, there will be times when one or both of you are going through a rough patch. Maybe it’s a health crisis, a job loss, or the death of a loved one. Whatever the hardship, it’s crucial to have a partner who will stand by you and support you through it all.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” – Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
When you’re going through a tough time, does your boyfriend step up to the plate? Does he offer a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, and a helping hand? Or does he run for the hills faster than the Road Runner on a sugar high? A man who is willing to be there for you through thick and thin is a rare and precious gift.
But here’s the thing: no one is perfect. We all have our moments of weakness and struggle. The key is to find a partner who is committed to growing, learning, and leaning on God through it all.
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” – James 1:2-3
When challenges come your way (and trust me, they will), remember that God is with you every step of the way. He will give you the strength, wisdom, and resilience you need to overcome any obstacle.
Before we call it a day, let’s take a moment to reflect on the bigger picture.
The importance of open communication and trust
The most important thing in any relationship is open, honest communication and trust. Without these two essential ingredients, no amount of testing or questioning will create a lasting, fulfilling partnership.
“Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.” – Ephesians 4:25
If you can’t talk openly and honestly with your boyfriend about your thoughts, feelings, and concerns, then no matter how well he scores on these tests, your relationship will always be on shaky ground. So, prioritize building a foundation of trust and communication from the very beginning.
Recognizing when tests become manipulative or harmful
While testing your boyfriend can be a helpful way to gauge his character and compatibility, it’s important to recognize when these tests cross the line into manipulation or harm.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-5
If you find yourself constantly testing your boyfriend, setting traps or mind games, or using his “failures” as a weapon against him, then it’s time to take a step back and reassess your motives. A healthy relationship is not built on fear, control, or manipulation, but on love, respect, and mutual trust.
Building a strong, healthy relationship together
Ultimately, the goal of any relationship test should be to strengthen your bond and build a foundation for a lifetime of love and partnership. It’s not about catching your boyfriend in a “gotcha” moment or holding his flaws over his head, but about learning and growing together in Christ.
“And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” – Colossians 3:14
As you navigate the ups and downs of dating and relationships, remember that your ultimate source of love, security, and fulfillment comes from God alone. No human partner can ever fill the God-shaped hole in your heart, and that’s okay.
Instead, focus on building a relationship that honors God, brings out the best in each other, and reflects the love and grace of Christ to the world around you. When you keep Him at the center and trust in His perfect plan, you can face any challenge or test that comes your way.
“Love never fails.” – 1 Corinthians 13:8
So that’s it for now.
To love, God bless!
